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tumandro

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tumandro
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3974
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tumandro's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

#6579311
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16062) - you deserved it (69785)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6750) - you deserved it (78098)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53233) - you deserved it (3152)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend called and asked me why I love him. I told him because he's always there for me and continues to put up with my bipolar disorder. He promptly said "not anymore" and hung up. FML

#6072093
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37199) - you deserved it (4436)

On 10/30/2009 at 5:24pm - love - by screwed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML

#6042161
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7304) - you deserved it (74686)

On 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML

#5973387
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38276) - you deserved it (7832)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by meg265 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing Farmville all day, and I was really into the game. I was getting phone calls all day, but I kept ignoring them cause I was making so much Farm Money. Come to find out it was my son's school. He fell off the jungle gym and broke his arm. FML

#5970435
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6396) - you deserved it (115573)

On 10/24/2009 at 3:25am - kids - by stewhart (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to my company's HR manager to ask what the procedure was to file a sexual harassment complaint since my boss exposed himself to me. His response was that the procedure is to "get over it." And he went back to reading. FML

#5875946
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36044) - you deserved it (3501)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by dyingtinkerbell (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47965) - you deserved it (24213)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

#5721676
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72833) - you deserved it (5337)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML

#4978107
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37367) - you deserved it (6595)

On 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML

#4978107
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37367) - you deserved it (6595)

On 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML

#4978107
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37367) - you deserved it (6595)

On 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML

#4978107
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37367) - you deserved it (6595)

On 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60663) - you deserved it (15382)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)



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