tub944

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tub944

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1173
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About tub944 : Potatoes

tub944's page activity

Visits<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 1:53am<b>sof5047</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:04pm<b>lieutenantdan97</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 3:15pm<b>zAstonish</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Munchieplig</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 8:27pm<b>melissa9131</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 11:38pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 3:25am<b>missblue97</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 5:39am<b>teentee401</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 6:00pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 4:33pm<b>iSnipeFatPeople</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:14am<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 1:42pm<b>monisv</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 11:43pm<b>nukeacat</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 1:46am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:08pm

tub944's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tub944's favorite FMLs

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, I went fishing with friends looking to catch big redfish. During the trip, one of the men caught a 50 pound monster which I put away. At the end of the trip they wanted to take a picture with it. I went to wash off the fish in the water. Apparently the fish wasn't dead and swam away. FML

by fisherman / 01/23/2010 at 5:12am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

by Lemonhead / 11/30/2009 at 12:01am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I was texting my boyfriend. I noticed that he had added a signature onto his texts that had the date 11/10/09. At first, I blushed and thought it was the date we had become a couple. But then I realized it was just the day the new Call of Duty game comes out. Love you too. FML

by gamergirlfriend / 10/20/2009 at 1:26am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML

by Timmah / 08/31/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I went to Burger King. I was sipping the drink and put it on my window sill to save for later. I fell asleep, and when I woke up my mouth was dry. I took a sip and felt something go into my mouth. Thinking it was an ice cube, I bit down on it. It was not an ice cube. It was a cockroach. FML

by LoLLightning / 06/27/2009 at 3:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to put my laptop on a desk when I got a text message. I was startled by my ringtone and dropped my laptop on the ground. It now has dent marks on the bottom. The text message was from an annoying friend simply saying "I'm eating a hot dog." FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2009 at 6:09pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML

by jazzyfizzle / 05/30/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

by HughGorgy / 03/20/2009 at 1:37am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, my boyfriend called me from a payphone because he lost his phone at the airport. When I texted his phone to get a response from someone who stole it [because it was still on whenever I called], I received a message back saying, "Love the pics. Send more ;]" FML

by Noname / 02/19/2009 at 11:24am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML

by AKN / 01/28/2009 at 7:33pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML

by Sarah91 / 10/13/2008 at 4:23am / Love