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tswiftbaby

Offline (the 01/26/2014 at 5:44pm) | Search for a member

tswiftbaby

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 July 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 832
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About tswiftbaby : hey tiger

tswiftbaby's page activity

Visits<b>OochenSnoochen</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 11:37am<b>06cobaltSSftw</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 3:05pm<b>Devin91</b> - the 02/26/2012 at 9:00pm<b>number99</b> - the 10/07/2011 at 1:23pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:38pm<b>2_hayden</b> - the 05/05/2011 at 6:24pm<b>Daaniellee1234</b> - the 05/03/2011 at 7:15pm<b>Lil1LawensKie</b> - the 04/28/2011 at 1:27am<b>newzealand</b> - the 04/18/2011 at 7:45pm<b>crank_yanker</b> - the 04/14/2011 at 10:44pm<b>ald2008</b> - the 04/13/2011 at 12:01pm<b>gummibehrs</b> - the 04/13/2011 at 1:53am<b>DocBastard</b> - the 04/12/2011 at 10:24pm<b>kewlstoribro</b> - the 04/12/2011 at 9:45pm<b>Wintersonnet</b> - the 04/12/2011 at 9:11pm<b>IMveryHUNGRY</b> - the 04/12/2011 at 8:50pm<b>alch4</b> - the 04/12/2011 at 8:37pm<b>sublime420</b> - the 04/12/2011 at 8:30pm

tswiftbaby's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of tswiftbaby's badges

tswiftbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49189) - you deserved it (5480)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML

#21179030
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35214) - you deserved it (11808)

On 06/18/2014 at 2:37am - animals - by a very unlucky dude. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML

#21149493
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43000) - you deserved it (4983)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by fucking hell my eyes burn (man) - Germany

Today, I was assigned to be the one to teach Grandpa how to use his new smartphone. An hour in, and we're still going over volume controls. FML

#21100846
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38804) - you deserved it (3819)

On 03/31/2014 at 8:24am - misc - by phantomthelabrat - United States (North Dakota)

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

#21021456
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59477) - you deserved it (4347)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML

#20876850
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22178) - you deserved it (74471)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML

#20630234
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41743) - you deserved it (3549)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30817) - you deserved it (5836)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML

#20548954
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12574) - you deserved it (51145)

On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21794) - you deserved it (44843)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28655) - you deserved it (3143)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

#20198007
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26043) - you deserved it (9185)

On 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by Bug5992 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother-in-law moved in because she has a hip problem. I don't know what's worse, her constant complaining and slob like tendencies, or the eight cats she brought along with her. FML

#20154544
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20499) - you deserved it (1677)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:43am - misc - by David (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23068) - you deserved it (2164)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22256) - you deserved it (3972)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States



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