Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tsim

Search for a member

tsim

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 April 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3151
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About tsim :
Stuck on my computer glued into my chair
On facebook, twitter, youtube this aint fair
House burnin down but I dont seem to care
Cause im stuck on the computer wit a million things to share

tsim's page activity

Visits<b>Unkreative</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:28pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 12:45am<b>LividCake</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 3:52pm<b>AE101</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 1:58pm<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 8:14pm<b>Jumbabaginji</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 7:52am<b>jdf2</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:47pm<b>ElinsVal</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 12:57pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 12:31pm<b>mathen</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:38am<b>Googolman</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:20pm<b>CatRoyal</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 2:37pm<b>MoidixMois43</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:50pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 6:24pm<b>Skylae</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:24am<b>bassguitar98</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:14pm<b>RainbowShine</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 5:26am<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 11:39pm

tsim's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tsim's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother offered to pay for my tickets to go see my girlfriend who I haven't seen for 6 months. She was happy to pay for the £130 flight, but then refused half way through the purchase because she wasn't going to "let the buggers charge £13 extra" for using her credit card. FML

#17668770
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you deserved it (3028)

On 09/05/2011 at 7:32am - misc - by Grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38411) - you deserved it (2777)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

#17663371
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30219) - you deserved it (4049)

On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

#17663371
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30219) - you deserved it (4049)

On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

#17658715
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40073) - you deserved it (2046)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)

Today, my school is having their homecoming, and it seems everyone but me has someone to go with. My best friend has her boyfriend, my brother has a date, and I have my hamster. FML

#17648334
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25264) - you deserved it (6230)

On 09/02/2011 at 10:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I joined my school's film-making club so I could get an opportunity to act in the club president's screenplays. It turns out her idea of a tragedy is a creepy, sci-fi version of Romeo and Juliet, with elves, starring her as the perfect Mary Sue style lead character. I can't get out of this. FML

#17647973
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19539) - you deserved it (4595)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:59pm - misc - by Actor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, out of sheer boredom, I took a career personality test. The "best match" for me was the position of funeral director. Not only do I have a promising future with death, I got genuinely excited at how accurate the result was. FML

#17646578
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19477) - you deserved it (4434)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:53pm - work - by whattalife (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML

#17643298
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28828) - you deserved it (18149)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26379) - you deserved it (9931)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26379) - you deserved it (9931)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

#17627394
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32359) - you deserved it (5139)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30808) - you deserved it (3369)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years old. FML

#17624611
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23036) - you deserved it (6751)

On 08/30/2011 at 9:28pm - love - by AMP4U - United States (California)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you know any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: