Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tsim

Search for a member

tsim

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 April 1987 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4129
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About tsim :
Stuck on my computer glued into my chair
On facebook, twitter, youtube this aint fair
House burnin down but I dont seem to care
Cause im stuck on the computer wit a million things to share

tsim's page activity

Visits<b>Ninjahiga</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:05pm<b>NotADude</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:54am<b>Arkajion</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 4:51pm<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:45pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:02am<b>Stormcloak</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:19am<b>evanjl4</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:15pm<b>constipation</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:04pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 4:37am<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 2:18pm<b>peceout</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 2:51am<b>xninix</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:54pm<b>SouthernPride95</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 1:55am<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 4:54pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:47pm<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:48pm<b>penashmul</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 12:20am<b>AndrewWeschke</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:21pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:02pm<b>peceout</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:51am

tsim's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tsim's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother offered to pay for my tickets to go see my girlfriend who I haven't seen for 6 months. She was happy to pay for the £130 flight, but then refused half way through the purchase because she wasn't going to "let the buggers charge £13 extra" for using her credit card. FML

#17668770
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22567) - you deserved it (3094)

On 09/05/2011 at 7:32am - misc - by Grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40634) - you deserved it (2923)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

#17663371
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30594) - you deserved it (4080)

On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

#17663371
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30594) - you deserved it (4080)

On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

#17658715
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41818) - you deserved it (2164)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)

Today, my school is having their homecoming, and it seems everyone but me has someone to go with. My best friend has her boyfriend, my brother has a date, and I have my hamster. FML

#17648334
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26965) - you deserved it (6445)

On 09/02/2011 at 10:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I joined my school's film-making club so I could get an opportunity to act in the club president's screenplays. It turns out her idea of a tragedy is a creepy, sci-fi version of Romeo and Juliet, with elves, starring her as the perfect Mary Sue style lead character. I can't get out of this. FML

#17647973
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21023) - you deserved it (4798)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:59pm - misc - by Actor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, out of sheer boredom, I took a career personality test. The "best match" for me was the position of funeral director. Not only do I have a promising future with death, I got genuinely excited at how accurate the result was. FML

#17646578
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19661) - you deserved it (4453)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:53pm - work - by whattalife (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML

#17643298
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29601) - you deserved it (18449)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27655) - you deserved it (10220)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27655) - you deserved it (10220)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

#17627394
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33437) - you deserved it (5250)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32326) - you deserved it (3520)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years old. FML

#17624611
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24921) - you deserved it (6993)

On 08/30/2011 at 9:28pm - love - by AMP4U - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: