Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tsim

Search for a member

tsim
  • Town/Country : Boston, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 April 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 2679
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About tsim :
Stuck on my computer glued into my chair
On facebook, twitter, youtube this aint fair
House burnin down but I dont seem to care
Cause im stuck on the computer wit a million things to share

tsim's last visitors

DraconicFelineMidnaLinkElinsValswick25Rallred32Jarl_the_Elitesarah1024niatrosslittlem91

tsim's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tsim's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

#17708928
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (3660)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, to save money, I bought some meat in bulk. When I got home, I was told that power to the neighborhood was out, and probably would be for days. Rather than let the meat rot, I barbecued it all and gave it away to my neighbors. The power came on while everyone was eating. FML

#17705192
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26406) - you deserved it (3588)

On 09/09/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by SoCalStoopid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML

#17703209
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26310) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to walk through an extremely crowded pub wearing a dorky prisoner outfit to get to a dress-up party at the back. When we got there, I soon realised it wasn't fancy dress, but just black-and-white themed. FML

#17703171
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9175) - you deserved it (17131)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML

#17696779
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20979) - you deserved it (2688)

On 09/08/2011 at 2:03pm - misc - by WishIWasAWriter (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

#17695562
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31376) - you deserved it (3965)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:52am - love - by I_dislike_Twilight (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I missed my bus, so I walked home in the rain from school, only to realize my mom had been following me the whole time in the car, laughing her ass off. FML

#17691004
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31033) - you deserved it (3027)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:53pm - misc - by me - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

#17686832
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36753) - you deserved it (25389)

On 09/07/2011 at 4:51am - intimacy - by sadsadperson (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I left my book on the plane after I'd finished reading it. The flight attendant thought I'd forgotten it, so he chased me through the airport, past security, past customs, and past baggage claims. I didn't have the heart to tell him I left it on purpose. FML

#17685983
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6607) - you deserved it (35207)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:05am - work - by sad - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML

#17683604
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22948) - you deserved it (2221)

On 09/06/2011 at 9:14pm - misc - by b3ardown23 - United States

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

#17681752
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15528) - you deserved it (1143)

On 09/06/2011 at 5:33pm - misc - by aroman2312 - United States

Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML

#17681011
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32117) - you deserved it (2271)

On 09/06/2011 at 3:40pm - misc - by fmlsrslyahhh - Singapore

Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML

#17681011
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32117) - you deserved it (2271)

On 09/06/2011 at 3:40pm - misc - by fmlsrslyahhh - Singapore

Today, my GPS told me that I'd reached my destination. In the middle of the highway. FML

#17669656
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23295) - you deserved it (4625)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: