About tsim :
Stuck on my computer glued into my chair
On facebook, twitter, youtube this aint fair
House burnin down but I dont seem to care
Cause im stuck on the computer wit a million things to share
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11804) - you deserved it (47254)
On 05/05/2009 at 11:41pm - intimacy - by JoeyDizz (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (276971) - you deserved it (23329)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63511) - you deserved it (16089)
On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28964) - you deserved it (73250)
On 03/19/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by LindseyS (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34763) - you deserved it (203674)
On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)
Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28791) - you deserved it (85972)
On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77257) - you deserved it (20718)
On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (205783) - you deserved it (44854)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I marked 600 emails in my gmail inbox as spam and it will take me hours to go through and unmark them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3154) - you deserved it (14882)
On 01/01/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML
I agree, your life sucks (86057) - you deserved it (10952)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:23am - love - by Sarah91 -
Friday 24 May 2013
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