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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 April 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6221
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About tsim :
Stuck on my computer glued into my chair
On facebook, twitter, youtube this aint fair
House burnin down but I dont seem to care
Cause im stuck on the computer wit a million things to share

tsim's page activity

Visits<b>Ajax_Teh_Great</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 1:06am<b>raven83</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 7:28am<b>Rican_Cutie</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 11:18pm<b>plab</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 3:24pm<b>christophbak</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 4:50pm<b>alexis8525</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 12:07am<b>Snip_Snap</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 12:57pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 4:08pm<b>youdontsay123456</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 2:05pm<b>taylorbrown97</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 1:53pm<b>iamahappypenguin</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:52pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:48pm<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 5:06pm<b>aZzwipe</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:02pm<b>mc822</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 6:05am<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 4:13am<b>oliv34</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 2:15am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 1:18am

Fucked!<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 9:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:02pm<b>peceout</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:51am

tsim's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tsim's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML

by Username / 06/09/2011 at 2:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

by Patrick R / 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML

by IPityTheStool / 06/09/2011 at 9:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant. I am going to be the mascot that stands by the road to wave down customers in a heavy polyester animal suit. The high today is 102. I work 12-4. FML

by aeghw1s / 06/09/2011 at 7:50am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I thought an attractive guy was looking at my tits instead of my face, and prepared to act offended and perhaps flirt. Unfortunately, he was actually looking at the peeling and flaking sunburn in my cleavage, and informed me that Aloe might be helpful. FML

by Liz / 06/09/2011 at 12:21am / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while in Holland, I lost the bag with my passport, debit and credit cards, license, and camera. I froze my accounts and filled out the paperwork for a new passport. My bag was found the second time I went to the police, with everything in it. Now my accounts are frozen for the 3 weeks I'm here. FML

by misc / 06/08/2011 at 1:52pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Holidays

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 7:22am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I got kneed in the stomach by a sixth grader. I couldn't breathe. I have a black belt in Taekwondo. FML

by Stiny / 06/01/2011 at 2:44pm / United States / Health

Today, my dad came to my graduate art show wearing a t-shirt saying "My other daughter is a science major". He'd had it specially made. FML

by art_major / 05/25/2011 at 10:06am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago my 4 year old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML

by Clueless / 05/14/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was stuck at the airport overnight waiting for my flight for about 5 hours. I then went and looked at the departures board. It said that my flight had already departed. FML

by Phantommajik / 05/10/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

by BCBUDDY / 05/07/2011 at 11:29am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML

by sad / 05/05/2011 at 10:40am / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Love

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of 'whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back.' Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

by ohtheshame / 05/02/2011 at 4:34am / Intimacy