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tsim

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tsim

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 April 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3163
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About tsim :
Stuck on my computer glued into my chair
On facebook, twitter, youtube this aint fair
House burnin down but I dont seem to care
Cause im stuck on the computer wit a million things to share

tsim's page activity

Visits<b>Unkreative</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:28pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 12:45am<b>LividCake</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 3:52pm<b>AE101</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 1:58pm<b>cassiecassie559</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 8:14pm<b>Jumbabaginji</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 7:52am<b>jdf2</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:47pm<b>ElinsVal</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 12:57pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 12:31pm<b>mathen</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:38am<b>Googolman</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:20pm<b>CatRoyal</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 2:37pm<b>MoidixMois43</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:50pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 6:24pm<b>Skylae</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 11:24am<b>bassguitar98</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:14pm<b>RainbowShine</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 5:26am<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 11:39pm

tsim's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tsim's favorite FMLs

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

#17109448
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35110) - you deserved it (2723)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:21pm - health - by Eden - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18927) - you deserved it (45855)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42771) - you deserved it (3588)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street hand in hand with my girlfriend. I couldn't help but stare at a gorgeous girl as she bent down to pick something up. It was such a great sight, I didn't notice the metal telephone pole directly in my path. FML

#17094031
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10100) - you deserved it (91994)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:02pm - misc - by sorehead (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30633) - you deserved it (6380)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
528 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20273) - you deserved it (52283)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after he gave me the 'let's just be friends' speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML

#17080368
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30258) - you deserved it (12283)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by Anonanon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

#17080358
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38214) - you deserved it (21772)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was invited into a group chat on Skype. Everyone ignored everything I said, so I got pissed and started yelling at them. Then I realised my microphone wasn't plugged in right. FML

#17055624
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8746) - you deserved it (51633)

On 07/10/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Canuckster (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother-in-law announced that she's going to be moving into the apartment next to us. Oh joy. FML

#17054303
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34140) - you deserved it (2599)

On 07/10/2011 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36007) - you deserved it (4347)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

#17004643
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39725) - you deserved it (10801)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a blind date. Right after I arrived there, he excused himself to go to the bathroom. He never came back. FML

#16974687
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34486) - you deserved it (4618)

On 07/04/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by rejecteddd (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML

#16925056
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11939) - you deserved it (33168)

On 06/30/2011 at 5:10pm - misc - by Nell (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

#16689352
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44738) - you deserved it (6006)

On 06/16/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by mike oxsmall - United States



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