tsim

Search for a member

tsim

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 April 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5812
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About tsim :
Stuck on my computer glued into my chair
On facebook, twitter, youtube this aint fair
House burnin down but I dont seem to care
Cause im stuck on the computer wit a million things to share

tsim's page activity

Visits<b>Rican_Cutie</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 11:18pm<b>plab</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 3:24pm<b>christophbak</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 4:50pm<b>alexis8525</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 12:07am<b>Snip_Snap</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 12:57pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 4:08pm<b>youdontsay123456</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 2:05pm<b>taylorbrown97</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 1:53pm<b>iamahappypenguin</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:52pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:48pm<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 5:06pm<b>aZzwipe</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:02pm<b>mc822</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 6:05am<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 4:13am<b>oliv34</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 2:15am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 1:18am<b>xMax14x</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 6:59am<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 9:12pm

Fucked!<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 9:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:02pm<b>peceout</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:51am

tsim's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tsim's favorite FMLs

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

by Eden / 07/14/2011 at 4:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

by sbutler / 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

by wittlegirl / 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking down the street hand in hand with my girlfriend. I couldn't help but stare at a gorgeous girl as she bent down to pick something up. It was such a great sight, I didn't notice the metal telephone pole directly in my path. FML

by sorehead / 07/13/2011 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

by 44haley44 / 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after he gave me the 'let's just be friends' speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML

by Anonanon / 07/12/2011 at 1:10pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

by couldntholdit / 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was invited into a group chat on Skype. Everyone ignored everything I said, so I got pissed and started yelling at them. Then I realised my microphone wasn't plugged in right. FML

by Canuckster / 07/10/2011 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother-in-law announced that she's going to be moving into the apartment next to us. Oh joy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a blind date. Right after I arrived there, he excused himself to go to the bathroom. He never came back. FML

by rejecteddd / 07/04/2011 at 4:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML

by Nell / 06/30/2011 at 5:10pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

by mike oxsmall / 06/16/2011 at 1:42am / United States / Miscellaneous