tsim

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tsim

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 April 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6394
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About tsim :
Stuck on my computer glued into my chair
On facebook, twitter, youtube this aint fair
House burnin down but I dont seem to care
Cause im stuck on the computer wit a million things to share

tsim's page activity

Visits<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 9:12am<b>Ajax_Teh_Great</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 1:06am<b>raven83</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 7:28am<b>Rican_Cutie</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 11:18pm<b>plab</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 3:24pm<b>christophbak</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 4:50pm<b>alexis8525</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 12:07am<b>Snip_Snap</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 12:57pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 4:08pm<b>youdontsay123456</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 2:05pm<b>taylorbrown97</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 1:53pm<b>iamahappypenguin</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:52pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:48pm<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 5:06pm<b>aZzwipe</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:02pm<b>mc822</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 6:05am<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 4:13am<b>oliv34</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 2:15am

Fucked!<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 9:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:02pm<b>peceout</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:51am

tsim's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tsim's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking with my mom about getting my school photos retouched. I believe her exact words were, "They'll take one look at you, and charge me triple." FML

by yupppp / 08/08/2011 at 2:12pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2011 at 10:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML

by Wife / 08/07/2011 at 8:02pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML

by Username / 08/07/2011 at 5:44pm / United States / Love

Today, at my workplace, a TV was installed just above my register at work which plays the same mind-numbingly awful 13 second ad on loop for the duration of our latest sale. The sale lasts for what are going to be three very long weeks. FML

by Kris / 08/07/2011 at 4:37pm / China / Work

Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML

by power corrupts... / 08/07/2011 at 4:29pm / Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj) / Work

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

by scully11 / 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML

by ImScrewed / 08/02/2011 at 1:47pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. His sister and I filled the air vents in his car with confetti so when he starts the car, it would blow all over him. In the process we lost the keys. The keys cost $200 to replace. Happy Birthday! FML

by americanbln / 08/01/2011 at 4:44am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

by James / 07/31/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

by ewww / 07/30/2011 at 10:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML

by Bec / 07/25/2011 at 10:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset so I politely asked where is bathroom was so I could "powder my nose". After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML

by anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 9:18am / Canada / Health

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML

by krissy8799 / 07/15/2011 at 12:53am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy