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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 April 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6197
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About tsim :
Stuck on my computer glued into my chair
On facebook, twitter, youtube this aint fair
House burnin down but I dont seem to care
Cause im stuck on the computer wit a million things to share

tsim's page activity

Visits<b>Ajax_Teh_Great</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 1:06am<b>raven83</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 7:28am<b>Rican_Cutie</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 11:18pm<b>plab</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 3:24pm<b>christophbak</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 4:50pm<b>alexis8525</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 12:07am<b>Snip_Snap</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 12:57pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 4:08pm<b>youdontsay123456</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 2:05pm<b>taylorbrown97</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 1:53pm<b>iamahappypenguin</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:52pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:48pm<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 5:06pm<b>aZzwipe</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:02pm<b>mc822</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 6:05am<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 4:13am<b>oliv34</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 2:15am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 1:18am

Fucked!<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 9:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:02pm<b>peceout</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:51am

tsim's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tsim's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my soon to be ex-husband is going to be a father. We spent our entire marriage unsuccessfully trying for a baby. The mother of his unborn child isn't his new girlfriend, but someone else he was cheating on her with. Our divorce isn't even finalized yet. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2011 at 3:48pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

by Luke / 11/07/2011 at 9:53am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML

by Dlord357 / 11/07/2011 at 9:24am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, on the subway, a woman got off without her suitcase. I grabbed the case, chased her onto the platform, and shouted, "You forgot your suitcase!" while the doors closed behind me. In actual fact, it wasn't her suitcase, and its actual owner was still on the train. FML

by Lavalise / 11/05/2011 at 3:11am / France / Transportation

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

by Grounded / 11/03/2011 at 5:18am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML

by benji / 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, my best friend threw my football over a wall, so we hopped over to go and get it. Next thing we know, we're both surrounded by men pointing guns in our faces. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 5:03am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my phone. On the bright side, someone found it. On the downside, they won't give it back. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 8:25am / United States / Kids

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

by charlie3289 / 10/27/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML

by wtf / 10/24/2011 at 6:46pm / United Kingdom (York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML

by cmd102 / 10/20/2011 at 5:18pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy