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tsim

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tsim
  • Town/Country : Boston, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 April 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 2685
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About tsim :
Stuck on my computer glued into my chair
On facebook, twitter, youtube this aint fair
House burnin down but I dont seem to care
Cause im stuck on the computer wit a million things to share

tsim's last visitors

coolsoccer1234DraconicFelineMidnaLinkElinsValswick25Rallred32Jarl_the_Elitesarah1024niatross

tsim's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tsim's favorite FMLs

Today, our dog peed on nearly all the wrapped gifts under our Christmas tree. FML

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

#18531722
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28376) - you deserved it (5162)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after trying to find the perfect picture for the guy I have a huge crush on, I finally found one and sent it to him. His return picture? Himself in a Batman mask and sombrero. FML

#18516515
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17091) - you deserved it (9101)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:00am - love - by scribbles1475 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML

#18482444
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24623) - you deserved it (15923)

On 12/11/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by Embarrassed Swimmer (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10329) - you deserved it (41025)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

#18429716
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42333) - you deserved it (2878)

On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

#18424133
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33132) - you deserved it (4631)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50959) - you deserved it (5171) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

#18360363
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23459) - you deserved it (3850)

On 11/26/2011 at 9:33pm - misc - by Matthew - United States (Texas)

Today, I fractured my finger setting up a rat trap. FML

#18360025
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17151) - you deserved it (11313)

On 11/26/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by _Oblivion_ - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

#18275537
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19846) - you deserved it (5206)

On 11/17/2011 at 7:50pm - misc - by alliez108 - United States

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24039) - you deserved it (7451)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17001) - you deserved it (73795)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

#18184831
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19939) - you deserved it (5004)

On 11/07/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Olorin (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

#18184831
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19939) - you deserved it (5004)

On 11/07/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Olorin (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)



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