About tsim :
Stuck on my computer glued into my chair
On facebook, twitter, youtube this aint fair
House burnin down but I dont seem to care
Cause im stuck on the computer wit a million things to share
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, our dog peed on nearly all the wrapped gifts under our Christmas tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23051) - you deserved it (3500)
On 12/22/2011 at 5:05pm - animals - by shrdlu (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23836) - you deserved it (4088)
On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after trying to find the perfect picture for the guy I have a huge crush on, I finally found one and sent it to him. His return picture? Himself in a Batman mask and sombrero. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14581) - you deserved it (8540)
On 12/15/2011 at 12:00am - love - by scribbles1475 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21085) - you deserved it (12067)
On 12/11/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by Embarrassed Swimmer (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9239) - you deserved it (31866)
On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38597) - you deserved it (2619)
On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31540) - you deserved it (4511)
On 12/04/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47546) - you deserved it (4258) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19276) - you deserved it (2880)
On 11/26/2011 at 9:33pm - misc - by Matthew - United States (Texas)
Today, I fractured my finger setting up a rat trap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13730) - you deserved it (8731)
On 11/26/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by _Oblivion_ - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19364) - you deserved it (5154)
On 11/17/2011 at 7:50pm - misc - by alliez108 - United States
Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21122) - you deserved it (5857)
On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14817) - you deserved it (57595)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17043) - you deserved it (3999)
On 11/07/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Olorin (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)
Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17043) - you deserved it (3999)
On 11/07/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Olorin (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)
Monday 17 June 2013
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