tsim

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tsim

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 April 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5272
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About tsim :
Stuck on my computer glued into my chair
On facebook, twitter, youtube this aint fair
House burnin down but I dont seem to care
Cause im stuck on the computer wit a million things to share

tsim's page activity

Visits<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 4:08pm<b>youdontsay123456</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 2:05pm<b>taylorbrown97</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 1:53pm<b>iamahappypenguin</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:52pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:48pm<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 5:06pm<b>aZzwipe</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:02pm<b>mc822</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 6:05am<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 4:13am<b>oliv34</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 2:15am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 1:18am<b>xMax14x</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 6:59am<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 9:12pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 5:50am<b>SAGARCo</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 10:37pm<b>zAstonish</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 1:13pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 12:01am<b>IrishReaper</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 4:51pm

Fucked!<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 9:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:02pm<b>peceout</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:51am

tsim's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tsim's favorite FMLs

Today, our dog peed on nearly all the wrapped gifts under our Christmas tree. FML

by shrdlu / 12/22/2011 at 5:05pm / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

by anne / 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, after trying to find the perfect picture for the guy I have a huge crush on, I finally found one and sent it to him. His return picture? Himself in a Batman mask and sombrero. FML

by scribbles1475 / 12/15/2011 at 12:00am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML

by Embarrassed Swimmer / 12/11/2011 at 2:23am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

by perenoel / 12/03/2011 at 11:24am / France / Kids

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

by Matthew / 11/26/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fractured my finger setting up a rat trap. FML

by _Oblivion_ / 11/26/2011 at 8:51pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

by alliez108 / 11/17/2011 at 7:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

by dumbassbuffet / 11/11/2011 at 10:53am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

by Olorin / 11/07/2011 at 3:49pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

by Olorin / 11/07/2011 at 3:49pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Miscellaneous