tsezu

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tsezu

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17516
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tsezu's page activity

Visits<b>MrMcRooster</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 6:46am<b>KangarooRat</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 5:34pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:00pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:16pm<b>jessxoxo28</b> - the 02/24/2010 at 4:47pm<b>jc21</b> - the 01/18/2010 at 8:43pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 5:20pm<b>Taryn</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 5:54pm<b>xXNancyXx</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 5:03pm<b>bamfanr94</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 2:27am<b>miltonbradley</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 4:14pm<b>Sunol</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 2:22pm<b>Occam</b> - the 04/14/2009 at 11:12am<b>AwesomeSauce</b> - the 03/22/2009 at 11:10pm<b>swimmin_diva</b> - the 03/22/2009 at 3:01pm<b>TheLoneWolf</b> - the 03/20/2009 at 11:55pm<b>jmode</b> - the 03/20/2009 at 6:56pm<b>Sakeyaki</b> - the 03/18/2009 at 10:14pm

tsezu's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tsezu's favorite FMLs

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

by nothing / 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

by aviators / 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

by coughandcold / 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my friend and i thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML

by emilyxoxoxo / 03/21/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

by Stacy / 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

by Opplyst11 / 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

by SpiderMan / 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy