Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tsezu

Search for a member

tsezu

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16814
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

tsezu's page activity

Visits<b>MrMcRooster</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 6:46am<b>KangarooRat</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 5:34pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:00pm<b>jessxoxo28</b> - the 02/24/2010 at 4:47pm<b>jc21</b> - the 01/18/2010 at 8:43pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 5:20pm<b>Taryn</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 5:54pm<b>xXNancyXx</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 5:03pm<b>bamfanr94</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 2:27am<b>miltonbradley</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 4:14pm<b>Sunol</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 2:22pm<b>Occam</b> - the 04/14/2009 at 11:12am<b>AwesomeSauce</b> - the 03/22/2009 at 11:10pm<b>swimmin_diva</b> - the 03/22/2009 at 3:01pm<b>TheLoneWolf</b> - the 03/20/2009 at 11:55pm<b>jmode</b> - the 03/20/2009 at 6:56pm<b>Sakeyaki</b> - the 03/18/2009 at 10:14pm<b>ryandanielt</b> - the 03/17/2009 at 9:17pm

tsezu's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tsezu's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18168) - you deserved it (44779)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I showed up at work and a coworker pointed a gun at me. After twisting his arm and leveling his face into the wall, I found out it was a lighter. Now I might lose my job over his stupid joke. FML

Today, I was at my friends' farm and we decided that we wanted to go to their old treehouse. When we got down there, it turned out my friend Cat had forgotten her shoes. Being a gentleman, I lent her my sandals. I then climbed the treehouse, fell out, and got a nail through my foot. FML

#2267588
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55710) - you deserved it (6177)

On 05/25/2009 at 4:33am - animals - by jackelking (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went downtown to pay my speeding ticket. After standing in line and arguing with a rude woman behind the desk, I get back to my car only to find an expired meter and a parking ticket. I got a ticket while paying my ticket. FML

#1634783
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47162) - you deserved it (16110)

On 05/04/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23472) - you deserved it (82958)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23472) - you deserved it (82958)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML

#1525413
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72777) - you deserved it (24840)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by erectioninfection (man) - United States

Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML

#1429978
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61767) - you deserved it (5175)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by unlolable4321 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML

#1259883
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35374) - you deserved it (26723)

On 04/23/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by NotAmericanIdol (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I were talking about names for our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML

#1182028
646 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50371) - you deserved it (29331)

On 04/21/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML

#1010714
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25992) - you deserved it (142931)

On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by katem (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting a five year old boy. Somehow the topic of relationships came up, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that I was single, he got all excited and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It would have been cute except he was the first guy to ever ask me out. I'm 18. FML

#904176
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61314) - you deserved it (5667)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:07pm - kids - by boyfriendless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of the sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House was on. My boyfriend stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML

#887533
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63138) - you deserved it (14093)

On 04/09/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38598) - you deserved it (129644)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: