tsezu

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tsezu

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17452
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tsezu's page activity

Visits<b>MrMcRooster</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 6:46am<b>KangarooRat</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 5:34pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:00pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:16pm<b>jessxoxo28</b> - the 02/24/2010 at 4:47pm<b>jc21</b> - the 01/18/2010 at 8:43pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 5:20pm<b>Taryn</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 5:54pm<b>xXNancyXx</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 5:03pm<b>bamfanr94</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 2:27am<b>miltonbradley</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 4:14pm<b>Sunol</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 2:22pm<b>Occam</b> - the 04/14/2009 at 11:12am<b>AwesomeSauce</b> - the 03/22/2009 at 11:10pm<b>swimmin_diva</b> - the 03/22/2009 at 3:01pm<b>TheLoneWolf</b> - the 03/20/2009 at 11:55pm<b>jmode</b> - the 03/20/2009 at 6:56pm<b>Sakeyaki</b> - the 03/18/2009 at 10:14pm

tsezu's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tsezu's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

by anonymous / 08/20/2009 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I showed up at work and a coworker pointed a gun at me. After twisting his arm and leveling his face into the wall, I found out it was a lighter. Now I might lose my job over his stupid joke. FML

by Fibericon / 08/17/2009 at 4:02pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at my friends' farm and we decided that we wanted to go to their old treehouse. When we got down there, it turned out my friend Cat had forgotten her shoes. Being a gentleman, I lent her my sandals. I then climbed the treehouse, fell out, and got a nail through my foot. FML

by jackelking / 05/25/2009 at 4:33am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went downtown to pay my speeding ticket. After standing in line and arguing with a rude woman behind the desk, I get back to my car only to find an expired meter and a parking ticket. I got a ticket while paying my ticket. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2009 at 5:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

by danggit3290 / 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

by danggit3290 / 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML

by erectioninfection / 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML

by unlolable4321 / 04/28/2009 at 5:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML

by NotAmericanIdol / 04/23/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I were talking about names for our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 12:43am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML

by katem / 04/16/2009 at 1:08am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting a five year old boy. Somehow the topic of relationships came up, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that I was single, he got all excited and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It would have been cute except he was the first guy to ever ask me out. I'm 18. FML

by boyfriendless / 04/10/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of the sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House was on. My boyfriend stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work