About trqskq : I moderate like a bitch. I won't accept FML's if:
- It's got a shit tonne of spelling mistakes.
- It's fucking boring.
- It's ridiculously common.
- It lacks basic punctuation.
- It's a story I've submitted and some other fucker's stolen it and submitted it as their own.
- It's already been posted on the site and some sly fucker thinks they can get away with submitting it a second time.
- It's about FMyLife. I mean come on, people!
- It ends with "Fml" instead of "FML".
- It doesn't have a capital letter at the start or after any full stops.
- It's got smileys in it.
- It makes no fucking sense.
Also, I won't even bother reading your FML if I don't see a "Today" at the start and an "FML" at the end. Anyway, good luck to anyone who submits an FML, I know how hard it is to get it posted on the site!
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Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20192) - you deserved it (2556)
On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13783) - you deserved it (163234)
On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9986) - you deserved it (152304)
On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11070) - you deserved it (20125)
On 12/14/2010 at 4:26am - health - by shit (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (91522) - you deserved it (10775)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40110) - you deserved it (123101)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7677) - you deserved it (95346)
On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66964) - you deserved it (13947)
On 07/08/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by onething (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66964) - you deserved it (13947)
On 07/08/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by onething (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58612) - you deserved it (157057)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38917) - you deserved it (95083)
On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33768) - you deserved it (109303)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13285) - you deserved it (104537)
On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24548) - you deserved it (106541)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24404) - you deserved it (103106)
On 05/07/2009 at 7:36am - animals - by MJ3105 (man) - Israel
Friday 24 May 2013
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