About trqskq : I moderate like a bitch. I won't accept FML's if:
- It's got a shit tonne of spelling mistakes.
- It's fucking boring.
- It's ridiculously common.
- It lacks basic punctuation.
- It's a story I've submitted and some other fucker's stolen it and submitted it as their own.
- It's already been posted on the site and some sly fucker thinks they can get away with submitting it a second time.
- It's about FMyLife. I mean come on, people!
- It ends with "Fml" instead of "FML".
- It doesn't have a capital letter at the start or after any full stops.
- It's got smileys in it.
- It makes no fucking sense.
Also, I won't even bother reading your FML if I don't see a "Today" at the start and an "FML" at the end. Anyway, good luck to anyone who submits an FML, I know how hard it is to get it posted on the site!
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Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21845) - you deserved it (1120)
On 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm - misc - by jannister (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)
Today, I was feeling really down, so I texted my boyfriend, hoping to get some emotional support. He texted me back twenty minutes later, asking for nude pictures. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17800) - you deserved it (3211)
On 08/13/2012 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7922) - you deserved it (21778)
On 08/13/2012 at 11:06am - intimacy - by didntevenknow (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26105) - you deserved it (3342)
On 08/13/2012 at 8:19am - intimacy - by hmmmm (woman) - Australia
Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17779) - you deserved it (4127)
On 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by mary - United Kingdom
Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16685) - you deserved it (2316)
On 08/09/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3421) - you deserved it (16194)
On 08/06/2012 at 7:25pm - misc - by maybenot (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6126) - you deserved it (20542)
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29682) - you deserved it (2916) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/02/2012 at 9:00am - love - by opinaise - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22295) - you deserved it (2314)
On 08/02/2012 at 4:11am - love - by Kelly - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15789) - you deserved it (2009)
On 08/01/2012 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (4387)
On 08/01/2012 at 5:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, a coworker informed me that she thinks I may be descended from a race of goblins, because of my squat stature, ugly face and hairy arms. She was being completely serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15942) - you deserved it (1450)
On 08/01/2012 at 1:46am - work - by Goblin Girl (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14680) - you deserved it (1602)
On 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by joleezad5 - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was swimming with my friends at the local pool. My friend pushed me under, and as I came up for air, my hand stroked a hairy leg. It turns out I had caressed the leg of an old man who had been swimming laps. He spent the next half hour creepily smiling at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16255) - you deserved it (1516)
On 07/31/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by mac_miller55 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 17 June 2013
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