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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
trent295's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/02/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my date sent me a text saying "I'm sorry we're running late, we will be there shortly." I replied asking what she meant by "we". She said her parents, who were coming along to chaperone. I laughed about two 27 year olds having chaperones, until she walked in with her parents. FML
by Tragics / 11/11/2009 at 1:53pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Love
Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden. I was trying to be romantic and had the waiter bring two glasses of wine. I guess she doesn't really drink wine, she covered her fettucini Alfredo in vomit. After dinner, she thanked me with a french kiss. FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2009 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Love
Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2009 at 11:15pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, while working on my girlfriend of three years' computer I found a file called 'My future wedding'. I assumed it was very old and decided to look through it. Of the list of 5 potential grooms I was not one of them. This didn't bother me until I saw that it had last been edited two days ago. FML
by Rage / 10/08/2009 at 1:31pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
by dinosaurman / 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by corfan01 / 10/05/2009 at 7:11am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 08/26/2009 at 9:34am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by loverpants / 08/14/2009 at 4:46pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that because of my new medication, I can either avoid getting malaria, or have a male yeast infection. I'm stuck in Africa for the next two months, and have to sit down to pee because I don't want to irritate my penis by touching it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 2:27am / Ghana (Volta) / Health
Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML
by Momlovesme / 08/07/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML
by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
Today, my wife is divorcing me because she wants to party more with her friends alone. One year ago, I followed her to Norway, where her family lives. I left my friends, family and job opportunities (which were very good) in order to live with her. Now I am shoveling shit on a horse farm. FML
by person_r / 07/21/2009 at 8:03am / Norway (Vestfold) / Love
Today, I was walking around town with the girl I have loved for four years and have been 100% faithful to. A girl thought it would be funny to approach me and pretend she was the girl I was seeing, and that I was cheating on her. My girlfriend believed her and broke up with me. FML
by Anonymous / 07/05/2009 at 1:59am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was coming home from a date, I saw my ex standing in my drive-way. He had dumped me 2 months ago saying he couldn't talk me. To make him jealous, I made out with my new guy before greeting him. Turns out he couldn't talk to me because he had had cancer and had been afraid to tell me. FML
by Foster_Em / 07/04/2009 at 12:38am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…