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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
trent295's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML
by Lucy / 07/21/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by moodyreallyrocks / 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML
by Dreamer / 07/03/2012 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trying to put some new curtains up. I couldn't make sense of the instructions, so I decided to wing it. I spent a frustrating half hour fighting with it, and just seconds after I succeeded, the curtain rod gave way and slammed straight onto my head. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2012 at 6:46pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Miscellaneous
by thatscreamerguy / 04/03/2012 at 7:11am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Geek
by dumb mother / 01/30/2012 at 9:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML
by Bob smith / 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Jesus / 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years said she was leaving me because recently I wasn't making much money, and was playing too many video games. I recently got a raise at my job of 5 years. The job? Testing video games. FML
by Eric Moore / 09/25/2011 at 4:12am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML
by Anonymous / 09/20/2011 at 7:54pm / United States / Health
Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML
by Smart / 09/16/2011 at 10:42am / United States / Kids
Today, I was at my cousin's house. We weren't spending time together because he was always texting. After a couple of minutes, I got jealous. I played a ringtone on my cell, and "answered" it. I had a whole conversation with nobody in an attempt to seem somewhat more popular than a 10-year-old. FML
by ForeverAlone / 09/15/2011 at 5:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at the beach, my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML
by justhereforlaughs / 09/12/2011 at 6:32pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend after helping him study for his ACT, giving him a back rub, and having really awesome sex with him. His reason for dumping me? He's too stressed out to have a girlfriend right now. FML
by stupidboys / 09/06/2011 at 12:42pm / United States / Intimacy
by vishuzzbabe77 / 08/22/2011 at 2:04am / United States / Animals