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About tragicnightmare : FMLs make my day. I love music. don't message me I won't reply. Avril Lavigne is my idol. I also love Sum 41, Lights, Marianas Trench, Blink-182, Simple Plan, Faber Drive, Fighting For Ithaca, and others as well
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wantd to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He droppd it and it spilld. I was really embarrassd. Then he decidd to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stard at me accusingly. big fat FML
Today , while at the doctor's , a week overdue with my frst child , I was told that sex an orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home , my boyfriend asked fir road head , arguing that ( She said that stuff about orgasms. ) Not you , honey. FML
Today, boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
Today , mah boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet mah parents but I made him do it anyway!! One of the first things out of his mouth was , "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock , he added , "You know , when you made yur daughter! She's awesome!"
today I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML
TADAY AT WORK AT A FARM, WE GOT A NEW CALF. IT LOOKD LIKE IT HAD TO POOP, BUT WAS HAVING DIFFICULTY. ABOUT FOUR HOURS LATER IT STILL HADN'T POOPD. TURNS OUT IT WAS BORN WITHOUT AN ACTUAL BUTTHOLE. IT WAS THERE, JUST SEALD UP BY SKIN. I LITERALLY HAD TO CUT THIS POOR CALF A NEW BUTTHOLE. FML
Friday 27 March 2015