tpike1296

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tpike1296

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 December 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5517
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About tpike1296 : Updating my info again. I'm a brony, so that's important. My profile picture is an unfinished OC. (No cutie mark, or full name) Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are both best pony. If anyone wants to reach me to talk, whether it be about MLP, music, video games, computers, science, or random stuff, I'd be more than happy to talk.
email: tpike1296@aol.com
Skype: xxxxunderground
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/133741if3 (Please ignore the horrible user name, that was when I was obsessed with The Matrix and was attempting to learn how to hack, and Facebook won't let you change it)

tpike1296's page activity

Visits<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 6:10pm<b>cacheson</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 4:57pm<b>Krictix</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 9:03am<b>teentee401</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 9:46pm<b>turdoblast</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 6:16pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 8:02am<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 2:42pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 9:53pm<b>dianadarwish</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 11:27pm<b>EbinKebin</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 11:04am<b>_Domster_46</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:51pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:51pm<b>izkiz</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 3:26pm<b>BowChikaFuckYou</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 2:10am<b>mutiplyyou</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 2:29pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 10:07am<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 11:02pm<b>salvorican</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:35pm

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tpike1296's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 2:02am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

by StinkyandStupid / 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm / United States / Transportation

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

by zztopspinner / 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

by Simms / 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm / United States / Work

Today, I hooked up with my ex-girlfriend, after she confessed to still being in love with me. I logged into Facebook after she left, only to find her status set to "I think I just made a big mistake." FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 7:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML

by Samantha / 03/13/2012 at 1:59pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

by PixieWrists / 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Health

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2012 at 12:16am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

by h4rdy / 03/09/2012 at 11:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML

by mark / 03/05/2012 at 5:55pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2011 at 12:50am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I realized that I've been intentionally causing arguments with my husband because the spare bed is more comfortable. FML

by sninapeters / 12/22/2011 at 12:31am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me that I can no longer sleep over at his house because his cat doesn't like it. FML

by kaipodable / 12/21/2011 at 8:41pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

by fmT719 / 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML

by Embarrassed Swimmer / 12/11/2011 at 2:23am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous