About toriicylerr : Hey guys; I'm tori ;) message mee
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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toriicylerr's favorite FMLs
by Faaccckkk / 03/25/2013 at 10:48am / United States / Love
by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 2:03am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
by fuckyoutoo / 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by theawesome129 / 03/24/2013 at 6:20am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by Beestings / 03/24/2013 at 1:14am / United States / Love
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
by fredo / 03/19/2013 at 8:31am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
by soontobesingle / 03/19/2013 at 7:30am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML
by Luke / 03/19/2013 at 5:59am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I had an interview for a job I really wanted. On my resume, I wrote that I speak conversational Spanish, although I don't. When I arrived for the interview, my interviewer decided to conduct it in Spanish. FML
by nohablaespanol / 03/18/2013 at 7:42pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML
by um... maybe / 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML
by Alexandra / 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML
by ineedalife / 02/02/2013 at 7:08am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
- Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he…