Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

toriicylerr

Search for a member

toriicylerr

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 414
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About toriicylerr : Hey guys; I'm tori ;) message mee

toriicylerr's page activity

Visits<b>ColbyGB</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:57pm<b>bps315</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 12:08pm<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 10:47pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 3:03am<b>s13495</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 9:10pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 3:28pm<b>MrItalia</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 7:29am<b>cd8919</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 12:46pm<b>heffastera</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 4:15pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 2:46am<b>zombieslayer83</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 3:22pm<b>jfb420</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 5:38pm<b>hoffmanam</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 10:15pm<b>efelsh</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 7:38pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 1:39am<b>iBeCareless</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 10:57am<b>Credit</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 6:29pm<b>Insane_Tea</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 3:00pm

toriicylerr's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of toriicylerr's badges

toriicylerr's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

#20719191
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83515) - you deserved it (6886)

On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I started my job at a kids summer camp. The first little girl to arrive told me to close my eyes and open my hand because she had a "surprise" for me. Yep, a dead, decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise. FML

#20718832
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41446) - you deserved it (5155)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:39am - kids - by sydneyp3435 - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

#20718656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57620) - you deserved it (15908)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52965) - you deserved it (8601)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

#20601226
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42091) - you deserved it (3692)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

#20578916
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35373) - you deserved it (4837)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML

#20574572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45693) - you deserved it (3801)

On 04/04/2013 at 11:12am - misc - by NotASize0 (woman) - Denmark

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

#20574279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60246) - you deserved it (4457)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:46am - love - by nobodylovesme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

#20567905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39852) - you deserved it (5175)

On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

#20564455
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39564) - you deserved it (16920)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML

#20564361
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43088) - you deserved it (18670)

On 03/28/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Hooker (woman) - United States

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

#20564125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33493) - you deserved it (15293)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

#20562542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55644) - you deserved it (3770)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40956) - you deserved it (5314)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

#20559522
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10190) - you deserved it (62243)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm - health - by anon - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: