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toolman

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toolman
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  • Number of visits : 27344
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML

#1347593
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9554) - you deserved it (72273)

On 04/26/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by waltzy777 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was hanging out at my school with some friends when my mom came to pick me up. A girl I knew wanted a hug before I left. I turned around to hug her and a clip on my backpack got stuck on her tank top. I tuned away the clip pulled the shirt ripping it and exposing her naked chest. FML

#1342086
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58625) - you deserved it (7357)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Mikey (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML

#1297315
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58303) - you deserved it (7984)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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