toofacedaddict

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Offline (the 04/01/2015 at 5:25pm)

toofacedaddict

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 636
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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toofacedaddict's page activity

Visits<b>tj4234</b> - the 10/27/2012 at 3:02pm

toofacedaddict's FML badges

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Up and coming moderator

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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toofacedaddict's favorite FMLs

Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML

by WELLFUCKYOUTOO / 08/14/2012 at 11:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

by nick / 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad took my phone away. This would be fine if I was 14. I'm 22 and pay for all of my own bills. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 7:25pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

by ohmaigawd / 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm / Argentina / Intimacy

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML

by shocked / 08/25/2011 at 2:10pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML

by OopsKid / 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

by ali grace / 05/14/2011 at 7:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

by Now Single / 04/03/2011 at 4:06am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, my husband told me I was lucky to have someone who would love me no matter what my vagina smelled like. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 6:28am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2011 at 1:38pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

by me / 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm / United States / Kids

Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML

by Samantha / 10/30/2010 at 1:41am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

by Isabell / 02/06/2010 at 12:31am / Australia / Intimacy