Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

toofacedaddict

Offline (the 04/01/2015 at 5:25pm) | Search for a member

toofacedaddict

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 553
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

toofacedaddict's page activity

Visits<b>tj4234</b> - the 10/27/2012 at 3:02pm

toofacedaddict's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of toofacedaddict's badges

toofacedaddict's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

#20071482
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16611) - you deserved it (27463)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's been a week since I've been in hospital. No one has been to visit me. The nurses have nicknamed me "The Lonely One." FML

#20071345
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29269) - you deserved it (1768)

On 09/14/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by lonely one - United States

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML

#20070762
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27894) - you deserved it (4786)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by EvilMother (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

#20070573
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26189) - you deserved it (2706)

On 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML

#20069857
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29087) - you deserved it (3117)

On 09/13/2012 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

#20069063
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35214) - you deserved it (4024)

On 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home from work to be given $1 by my mother. This normally would have been nice, had my mother not said, "I just sold that ugly old black and white picture frame you always leave lying around in your room." Which also would have been nice if that "frame" wasn't my Kindle. FML

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25587) - you deserved it (3824)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47375) - you deserved it (4107)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML

#20066193
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16387) - you deserved it (10542)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:19pm - health - by greeple - Singapore

Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML

#20066134
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25360) - you deserved it (1998)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML

Today, I found out that the mysterious and creepy weirdo guy that continuously sends me messages on Facebook is my manager at my new job. FML

#20060179
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20577) - you deserved it (1630)

On 09/06/2012 at 7:15am - work - by Jessica S. (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML

#20038908
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20791) - you deserved it (2437)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:33am - animals - by murphy22 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was out drinking with some friends in a Safeway parking lot, when I saw a familiar-looking vehicle pull up beside us. It was my dad, who angrily got out and demanded that I come home. I'm twenty-four, and now the laughingstock of my social circle. FML



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: