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toofacedaddict

Offline (the 12/16/2014 at 4:45am) | Search for a member

toofacedaddict

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  • Number of visits : 441
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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toofacedaddict's page activity

Visits<b>tj4234</b> - the 10/27/2012 at 3:02pm

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toofacedaddict's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44671) - you deserved it (3896)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML

#20066193
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16209) - you deserved it (10461)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:19pm - health - by greeple - Singapore

Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML

#20066134
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25146) - you deserved it (1983)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML

Today, I found out that the mysterious and creepy weirdo guy that continuously sends me messages on Facebook is my manager at my new job. FML

#20060179
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20381) - you deserved it (1618)

On 09/06/2012 at 7:15am - work - by Jessica S. (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML

#20038908
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20579) - you deserved it (2427)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:33am - animals - by murphy22 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was out drinking with some friends in a Safeway parking lot, when I saw a familiar-looking vehicle pull up beside us. It was my dad, who angrily got out and demanded that I come home. I'm twenty-four, and now the laughingstock of my social circle. FML

Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML

#20020463
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (1854)

On 08/14/2012 at 11:02am - love - by WELLFUCKYOUTOO (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

#19980298
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26050) - you deserved it (10837)

On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

#19979933
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6303) - you deserved it (53911)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dad took my phone away. This would be fine if I was 14. I'm 22 and pay for all of my own bills. FML

#17977138
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30291) - you deserved it (4344)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

#17743940
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41571) - you deserved it (6223)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33934) - you deserved it (3757)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML

#17577684
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29386) - you deserved it (4556)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by shocked (man) - United States

Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML

#16418676
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33211) - you deserved it (15037)

On 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm - misc - by OopsKid (man) - France



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