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toofacedaddict

Offline (the 04/01/2015 at 5:25pm) | Search for a member

toofacedaddict

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 533
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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toofacedaddict's page activity

Visits<b>tj4234</b> - the 10/27/2012 at 3:02pm

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toofacedaddict's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

#20092519
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12147) - you deserved it (45059)

On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I fell asleep in class. One minute I'm listening to a lecture, and twenty-five minutes later, I'm waking up screaming in agony in front of everyone after biting my tongue in my sleep. FML

#20092439
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16121) - you deserved it (9846)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34333) - you deserved it (6829)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I found out why my teenage daughter won't brush her teeth properly. Apparently my son convinced her that toothpaste has tons of calories. FML

#20092131
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22982) - you deserved it (2271)

On 09/28/2012 at 10:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband of five years left me for a woman ten years older than himself who lives nine hours away. He met her online two weeks ago while playing Call of Duty. FML

#20091576
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31557) - you deserved it (2402)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:14pm - love - by strawberrywine22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML

#20091458
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24649) - you deserved it (1970)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

#20091141
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36239) - you deserved it (2660)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

#20088350
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29983) - you deserved it (1654)

On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29968) - you deserved it (11620)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after weeks of dealing with a bad hair cut, my hair finally grew back to my preferred length. Today is also the day my roommate replaced my shampoo with hair remover as a prank. FML

#20084656
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24268) - you deserved it (1520)

On 09/23/2012 at 4:14am - misc - by Hairless freak - United States (California)

Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

Today, I received a compliment for the first time from a girl. She told me she admires my courage to go out in public since most ugly people don't like to. FML

#20083123
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22226) - you deserved it (1649)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by IHateMyLife - United States (California)

Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML

#20083093
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7650) - you deserved it (57996)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to suffer through a four hour flight beside my ex. Yesterday, I proposed, on the last day of our vacation. She said no. FML

#20083004
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32112) - you deserved it (2616)

On 09/22/2012 at 12:54am - love - by Flighted (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#20082014
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31855) - you deserved it (6517)

On 09/21/2012 at 11:11am - love - by Sad ex-wife (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)



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