toofacedaddict

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Offline (the 04/01/2015 at 5:25pm)

toofacedaddict

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1312
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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toofacedaddict's page activity

Visits<b>tj4234</b> - the 10/27/2012 at 3:02pm

toofacedaddict's FML badges

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Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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toofacedaddict's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

by Lisa / 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

by dumbgirl4lyf / 10/01/2012 at 2:24pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

by notgivingup / 09/30/2012 at 11:21pm / United States / Love

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

by whatswrongwithit?:( / 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I was disappointed it was negative, as my fiancé and I have been together for four years and have a strong relationship. He danced with happiness when he discovered the test was negative and tried to high-five me. FML

by BeforeItWasCool / 09/30/2012 at 5:30am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I got yelled at for providing horrible customer service, in a store I don't even work for. FML

by anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 1:32am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend graduated from boot camp. After the ceremony, I rushed over and tried to jump into his arms. This would have been romantic if he was expecting it. Instead, he fell over and we crashed onto the floor in front of everyone. FML

by oohrahgal / 09/30/2012 at 12:51am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that guys will only flirt with me when they're drunk, and even then only when they realize that my best friend is out of their league. FML

by kfenton / 09/29/2012 at 7:16am / United States / Love

Today, I tried to bleach my upper lip hair. I now have a bright red mustache. FML

by mustachioed / 09/29/2012 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML

by cedechan / 09/29/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

by GEE, THANKS DAD / 09/28/2012 at 6:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous