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toofacedaddict

Offline (the 12/16/2014 at 4:45am) | Search for a member

toofacedaddict

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  • Number of visits : 438
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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toofacedaddict's page activity

Visits<b>tj4234</b> - the 10/27/2012 at 3:02pm

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toofacedaddict's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20520) - you deserved it (2678)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML

#20101066
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26933) - you deserved it (5557)

On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33217) - you deserved it (2546)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

#20098150
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28591) - you deserved it (1952)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

#20098094
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33965) - you deserved it (2351)

On 10/02/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Jake (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26979) - you deserved it (3444)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw a brick down the laundry-chute. Guess who spent the night at the hospital. FML

#20097230
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19182) - you deserved it (1347)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

#20097040
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23835) - you deserved it (1893)

On 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm - love - by Lisa - United States (New York)

Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

#20096827
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19661) - you deserved it (3841)

On 10/01/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by dumbgirl4lyf (woman) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

#20096065
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20520) - you deserved it (1580)

On 09/30/2012 at 11:21pm - love - by notgivingup (woman) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

#20095626
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31522) - you deserved it (5005)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

#20095343
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28558) - you deserved it (3113)

On 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by whatswrongwithit?:( (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

#20095198
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10017) - you deserved it (26757)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I was disappointed it was negative, as my fiancé and I have been together for four years and have a strong relationship. He danced with happiness when he discovered the test was negative and tried to high-five me. FML

#20094767
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12566) - you deserved it (23465)

On 09/30/2012 at 5:30am - love - by BeforeItWasCool - United Kingdom

Today, I got yelled at for providing horrible customer service, in a store I don't even work for. FML

#20094580
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22905) - you deserved it (1670)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:32am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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