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toofacedaddict

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  • Number of visits : 327
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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toofacedaddict's page activity

Visits<b>tj4234</b> - the 10/27/2012 at 3:02pm

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toofacedaddict's favorite FMLs

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23460) - you deserved it (4214) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

#20142562
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27071) - you deserved it (4520)

On 11/01/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by NoSpirit (woman) -

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

#20142541
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30571) - you deserved it (6483)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

#20142085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25921) - you deserved it (2390)

On 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm - misc - by hallofail (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26747) - you deserved it (2801)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10199) - you deserved it (40525)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

#20139261
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28907) - you deserved it (2806)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25364) - you deserved it (3135)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States

Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML

#20136351
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29571) - you deserved it (2397)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:22am - love - by prettylady? - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML

#20134512
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23558) - you deserved it (3227)

On 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

#20131535
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31417) - you deserved it (1939)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and I asked him to call me something sweet. He called me Honey Boo Boo. FML

Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML

#20126784
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21733) - you deserved it (1533)

On 10/21/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML

#20125706
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21710) - you deserved it (4353)

On 10/20/2012 at 8:22pm - love - by cargaljen (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7617) - you deserved it (23758)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)



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