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tonijulie

Offline (the 08/30/2014 at 12:51am) | Search for a member

tonijulie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 942
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About tonijulie : Toni Vendero
From Tamaki Makaurau, Aotearoa
Loving life in Melbourne, Australia :)))
I believe it when I see it type of person.
Mummy to one, to the coolest kid on the planet ;)
FML is pretty much as far as I go in terms of social media.

tonijulie's page activity

Visits<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm<b>blackheart96</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:15am<b>bdobbs1</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 10:24am<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 3:08am<b>nineteen99</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:14pm<b>NotR3ddy</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 9:44am<b>adrianh1090</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 2:49am<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 8:35pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 12:59am<b>shabbir87</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:57pm<b>Paradoxxxx</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:07am<b>runnerj116</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 10:53pm<b>capslockisgood</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 7:08pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 3:17am<b>shellykjelly</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 8:41pm<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 6:39pm<b>bkeljda</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 4:27am<b>Claytonioo</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 11:32pm

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tonijulie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

#21218616
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33294) - you deserved it (18212)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:24pm - health - by ThunderThighs (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

#21037822
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41648) - you deserved it (4554)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41551) - you deserved it (7862) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

#20986609
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43449) - you deserved it (7007)

On 12/09/2013 at 5:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

#20985898
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46057) - you deserved it (7197)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:52am - kids - by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30979) - you deserved it (14712)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, we got my dad an iPad for his birthday. I had to repeatedly reassure him that he could in fact touch the screen without being shocked. FML

#20899491
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36594) - you deserved it (3529)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52392) - you deserved it (9088)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50434) - you deserved it (8804)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65670) - you deserved it (12620)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50474) - you deserved it (10844)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28877) - you deserved it (3376)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31907) - you deserved it (5453)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)



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