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tomhl

Offline (the 05/19/2015 at 4:01am) | Search for a member

tomhl

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 900
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tomhl's page activity

Visits<b>Daaaan</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 6:18pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 1:31am<b>dudecall</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 8:12am<b>hendix</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 3:05am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 3:24pm

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tomhl's favorite FMLs

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

#14090215
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22924) - you deserved it (10588)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

#14090215
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22924) - you deserved it (10588)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

#14070837
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48435) - you deserved it (10583)

On 12/03/2010 at 11:19am - intimacy - by flopsy - Australia

Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML

#14048087
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32199) - you deserved it (4668)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

#13994749
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29565) - you deserved it (14170)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

#13975115
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24966) - you deserved it (6925)

On 11/25/2010 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

#13601704
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36138) - you deserved it (4227)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Deidle-dee - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47553) - you deserved it (8465)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

#13291298
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29194) - you deserved it (4063)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18663) - you deserved it (43137)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

#13220186
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16245) - you deserved it (26154)

On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

#13217380
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15598) - you deserved it (30306)

On 09/27/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by youaresodumb - United States (Alabama)

Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML

#13152326
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32851) - you deserved it (13077)

On 09/22/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my family and I argued whether getting a period or boner in the middle of class was worse. At the dinner table. FML

#12986098
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29086) - you deserved it (12662)

On 09/10/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Me - United States (Washington)

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

#12969357
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27373) - you deserved it (5273)

On 09/08/2010 at 10:15pm - health - by Chester (Seattle) - United States (Washington)



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