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tomhl

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  • Number of visits : 445
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tomhl's page activity

Visits<b>Daaaan</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 6:18pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 1:31am<b>dudecall</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 8:12am<b>hendix</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 3:05am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 3:24pm

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50 favourites

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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tomhl's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17280) - you deserved it (41127)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

#13220186
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16043) - you deserved it (25891)

On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

#13217380
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14927) - you deserved it (29348)

On 09/27/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by youaresodumb - United States (Alabama)

Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML

#13152326
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30613) - you deserved it (12583)

On 09/22/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my family and I argued whether getting a period or boner in the middle of class was worse. At the dinner table. FML

#12986098
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26875) - you deserved it (12160)

On 09/10/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Me - United States (Washington)

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

#12969357
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26398) - you deserved it (5192)

On 09/08/2010 at 10:15pm - health - by Chester (Seattle) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

#12946096
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15867) - you deserved it (20116)

On 09/07/2010 at 6:18am - intimacy - by neckcrack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

#12641347
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21280) - you deserved it (25980)

On 08/20/2010 at 5:51am - intimacy - by pathetic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML

#8317685
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22494) - you deserved it (5545)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:10pm - intimacy - by sadsexer23 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37040) - you deserved it (17345)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was done, I closed my zipper on my foreskin. FML

#6568411
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23795) - you deserved it (7616)

On 12/02/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by randm1 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I'm in my fourth month of training in the US Navy. I'm 3000 miles from home. I joined to give my wife a better life. Since I've been gone, she decided that she liked being single. FML

#5345779
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41553) - you deserved it (3882)

On 09/19/2009 at 2:18am - love - by singlesailor (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

#3669335
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47975) - you deserved it (7967)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by policeopenup (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML

#3528123
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51661) - you deserved it (6464)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66160) - you deserved it (6323)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)



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