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tomhl's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
tomhl's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
by stainseverywhere / 02/01/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML
by The Towel Molester / 01/26/2012 at 9:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Crashburn / 01/16/2012 at 6:09am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love
by Rumpkis / 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by me / 10/29/2011 at 12:43am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 4:29am / Reserved / Health
by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 11:56am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML
by Pissedoff777 / 08/12/2011 at 1:33am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML
by jakethed0g / 08/10/2011 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Holidays
by plantfood / 08/06/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy
by fmlguy382 / 06/22/2011 at 4:13am / United States / Intimacy
by Artic / 04/12/2011 at 12:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by Johntheladdo / 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…