Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tomhl

Search for a member

tomhl
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 367
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

tomhl's last visitors

Daaaanthebestintheworldudecallhendixdead_insects

tomhl's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of tomhl's badges

tomhl's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28334) - you deserved it (18981) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I got married. Tonight, I received the best orgasm of my life. Not from my husband; from the jacuzzi tub in our honeymoon suite, where he was passed out drunk. FML

#14170745
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29928) - you deserved it (4108)

On 12/11/2010 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML

#14161331
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25165) - you deserved it (18579)

On 12/11/2010 at 1:00am - intimacy - by caligirl921 - United States

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

#14090215
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20227) - you deserved it (9968)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

#14090215
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20227) - you deserved it (9968)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML

#14090215
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20227) - you deserved it (9968)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

#14070837
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44781) - you deserved it (9811)

On 12/03/2010 at 11:19am - intimacy - by flopsy - Australia

Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML

#14048087
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29938) - you deserved it (4454)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

#13994749
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27872) - you deserved it (13684)

On 11/27/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

#13975115
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21666) - you deserved it (6386)

On 11/25/2010 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

#13601704
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30694) - you deserved it (3673)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Deidle-dee - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43586) - you deserved it (7928)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

#13291298
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24987) - you deserved it (3605)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16552) - you deserved it (40066)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

#13220186
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14532) - you deserved it (24079)

On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: