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tomhl

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  • Number of visits : 462
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tomhl's page activity

Visits<b>Daaaan</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 6:18pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 1:31am<b>dudecall</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 8:12am<b>hendix</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 3:05am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 3:24pm

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tomhl's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML

#17950170
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28726) - you deserved it (2600)

On 10/10/2011 at 4:29am - health - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

#17847323
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34512) - you deserved it (11530)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML

#17446772
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36222) - you deserved it (7117)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Pissedoff777 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML

#17431437
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27767) - you deserved it (2621)

On 08/10/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by jakethed0g (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

#17384491
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27626) - you deserved it (8148)

On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

#16794914
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46289) - you deserved it (7179)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
780 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66182) - you deserved it (13896)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19224) - you deserved it (65743)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69009) - you deserved it (9539)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13728) - you deserved it (69065)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54379) - you deserved it (27341)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19333) - you deserved it (88490)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML

#15237271
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36698) - you deserved it (5886)

On 03/08/2011 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

#15218324
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38881) - you deserved it (10528)

On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17551) - you deserved it (82964)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)



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