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tomhl
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  • Number of visits : 369
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tomhl's favorite FMLs

Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML

#17431437
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26473) - you deserved it (2511)

On 08/10/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by jakethed0g (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

#17384491
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26497) - you deserved it (7950)

On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

#16794914
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44061) - you deserved it (6900)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
782 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61256) - you deserved it (12509)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17016) - you deserved it (60918)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66930) - you deserved it (9318)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12989) - you deserved it (67031)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52825) - you deserved it (26722)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18630) - you deserved it (86509)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML

#15237271
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31324) - you deserved it (4758)

On 03/08/2011 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

#15218324
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32986) - you deserved it (8788)

On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16881) - you deserved it (81387)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML

#15162560
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14793) - you deserved it (53823)

On 03/01/2011 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML

#14614725
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57042) - you deserved it (5884) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Belgium - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38063) - you deserved it (25748) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins



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