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tomhl

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  • Number of visits : 460
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tomhl's page activity

Visits<b>Daaaan</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 6:18pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 1:31am<b>dudecall</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 8:12am<b>hendix</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 3:05am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 3:24pm

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tomhl's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58109) - you deserved it (8268)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

#21115891
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46386) - you deserved it (18019)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

#21096245
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20707) - you deserved it (48639)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by testacular (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47527) - you deserved it (11156)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real weird." FML

#20957730
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45611) - you deserved it (14615)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by jack s.b. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML

#20939123
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45287) - you deserved it (7772)

On 10/30/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by goodgrief (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48796) - you deserved it (6597)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48681) - you deserved it (6365)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

#20883448
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42034) - you deserved it (3843)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:51am - kids - by clean - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55554) - you deserved it (23166)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49352) - you deserved it (9242)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

#20844009
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44970) - you deserved it (13869)

On 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47915) - you deserved it (17131)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)



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