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tom526

Offline (the 06/05/2014 at 11:22pm) | Search for a member

tom526

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 December 1979 (34 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 190
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tom526's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of tom526's badges

tom526's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

#19337633
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12490) - you deserved it (32155)

On 03/24/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by SG - United States

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30797) - you deserved it (4083)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

#19249177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21282) - you deserved it (4177)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35598) - you deserved it (18796)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, while jogging, I realized my face jiggles more than my breasts. FML

#18180881
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28228) - you deserved it (7138)

On 11/07/2011 at 12:12am - misc - by Janice - Canada (Alberta)

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32838) - you deserved it (10771)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

#15805096
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40162) - you deserved it (11353) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Proprepourtant - France

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

#15617936
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36131) - you deserved it (14020)

On 04/03/2011 at 7:27am - intimacy - by dahs - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68996) - you deserved it (9539)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17546) - you deserved it (82955)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30584) - you deserved it (19906) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML

#14416914
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33227) - you deserved it (3389)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:06am - work - by Chris - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40100) - you deserved it (9871)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML

#13295050
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26942) - you deserved it (8529)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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