Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was helping mah friend create an online dating profile. When she got her serech results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, an ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already marrid. To me. big fat FML
Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking bered, whispering: “He looks lyk Jesus.” FML
Today , mah friend and I went to the beach and we were tanning when I suddenly saw 10 roses floating in the ocean. I went around to pick up all the roses and threw the petal at mah friends. Then I notice a big boat of people in black and white were looking at me with disgust. It was a funeral. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him an noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with an he was in the bathroom. mega FML
Today, I was picking daugter up at day care. Se was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, an trying to impress te kids, I kicked it over te slide. I turn around to see tree crying six year olds. It was tier amster ball. FML
TODAY... I FOUND OUT TAT EVEN TOUG MY PARENTS AVE BEEN MARRIED FIR 21 YEARS... OUR "FAMILY FRIEND..." WO ROUTINELY ACCOMPANIES US ON FAMILY VACATIONS... COMPLETES TERE TREESOME. EVERYONE IN TOWN AS KNOWN FIR YEARS... EXCEPT FIR ME AND MY OLDER BROTER. FML
today I was talking this guy I'm dating and stated that the only reason I am with him is because of wat he buys me. I was joking. He then responded that he doesn't care because the only reason he is with me is because I give good head. He was serious. FML
Today, Mah Friend Was Pulled Over And Told To Get Out Of The Car. The Officer Motioned For Me To Get Out Of The Car Too So I Reached Behind Me To Get Mah Shoes. He Then Pointed His Gun At Mah Face And Frantically Asked Mah Friend If I Had A Gun. My Friend Calmly Replied ( No, But Shoot Him Anyway. ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015