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toelie

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toelie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1612
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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toelie's page activity

Visits<b>drumguy218</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:55pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:28pm<b>WaistDownUnder</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 11:03pm<b>totti180</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:18pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 4:31pm<b>baby4mommy</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 2:51am<b>Doortje</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 9:10am<b>kellenp10</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 12:10pm<b>89aceman</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 10:57pm<b>briebrianalove</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:03pm<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 1:57pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 2:27pm<b>olpally</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 3:29pm<b>paulhawkes</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 11:15am<b>jackson38</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 12:34pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 4:22pm<b>MysteryManPerson</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 9:33pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 7:36am

toelie's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of toelie's badges

toelie's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9198) - you deserved it (28910)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML

#19223342
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7278) - you deserved it (26266)

On 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm - misc - by asdfBUTT (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I joined a new choir. My director asked me if my best friend was actually my girlfriend. Taken aback, I said no, I was not a lesbian. He then asked me to clarify my gender. FML

#19196656
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28200) - you deserved it (4253)

On 03/01/2012 at 4:43pm - misc - by Rachel - United States

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7435) - you deserved it (49507) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

#19154069
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8800) - you deserved it (30945)

On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sculpture, which is very important for my art grade, fell from my desk and broke to pieces. My art teacher suggested I soak the parts in water to make it easier to stick them back together. They dissolved. FML

#19131419
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25485) - you deserved it (2916)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

#19129332
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16308) - you deserved it (17136)

On 02/21/2012 at 3:10am - intimacy - by desperate905 - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37172) - you deserved it (8413)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got punched by a man for making fun of his stutter. I didn't. I stutter too. FML

#18980797
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35919) - you deserved it (2126)

On 02/02/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by Sam (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister set it so all the Yahoo articles I read are published on my Facebook wall. This would have been fine had I not decided to read, "Does the gynecologist care if you shave?" FML

#18957041
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22723) - you deserved it (4654)

On 01/30/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I slipped and fell on my backside. The creepy security guard offered to 'kiss it better.' FML

#18724362
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26534) - you deserved it (2810)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by only 10 more hours to go (woman) - United States

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34285) - you deserved it (4601) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML

#7894652
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28172) - you deserved it (22585)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by eemp - Sent from mobile version

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

#6716817
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33565) - you deserved it (5916)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML

#5924929
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45527) - you deserved it (2737)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:59am - health - by acneface (man) - United States (Washington)



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