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Offline (the 08/27/2016 at 1:55pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2742
  • Number of comments : 198
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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toelie's page activity

Visits<b>jacob2580</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 4:25pm<b>AudiLover21</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 3:29pm<b>shelbs0910</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 9:46am<b>slim_immy</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:47am<b>C7</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 10:59pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 2:36am<b>Spencyy</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 12:40am<b>dbpdp</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 5:12am<b>jpsullivan</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:34pm<b>samsessions99</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 3:59pm<b>ThisIsMyUsernam</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:08am<b>Countryboy6</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 7:48pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:59pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 5:42pm<b>Melharr</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:18pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:26pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:34am<b>totti180</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 9:30am

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 4:34pm

toelie's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of toelie's badges

toelie's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

by zztopspinner / 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML

by asdfBUTT / 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I joined a new choir. My director asked me if my best friend was actually my girlfriend. Taken aback, I said no, I was not a lesbian. He then asked me to clarify my gender. FML

by Rachel / 03/01/2012 at 4:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

by BadIdea / 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my sculpture, which is very important for my art grade, fell from my desk and broke to pieces. My art teacher suggested I soak the parts in water to make it easier to stick them back together. They dissolved. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2012 at 2:24pm / Germany (Thuringen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

by desperate905 / 02/21/2012 at 3:10am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I got punched by a man for making fun of his stutter. I didn't. I stutter too. FML

by Sam / 02/02/2012 at 11:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister set it so all the Yahoo articles I read are published on my Facebook wall. This would have been fine had I not decided to read, "Does the gynecologist care if you shave?" FML

by embarrassed / 01/30/2012 at 10:54pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I slipped and fell on my backside. The creepy security guard offered to 'kiss it better.' FML

by only 10 more hours to go / 01/06/2012 at 6:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals

Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML

by eemp / 02/05/2010 at 12:01am / Miscellaneous

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

by MarkTheShark / 12/12/2009 at 12:23am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my math teacher decided to use my acne as an example of symmetry in front of the whole class. FML

by acneface / 10/21/2009 at 2:59am / United States (Washington) / Health