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toelie

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toelie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1615
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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toelie's page activity

Visits<b>drumguy218</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:55pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:28pm<b>WaistDownUnder</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 11:03pm<b>totti180</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:18pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 4:31pm<b>baby4mommy</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 2:51am<b>Doortje</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 9:10am<b>kellenp10</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 12:10pm<b>89aceman</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 10:57pm<b>briebrianalove</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:03pm<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 1:57pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 2:27pm<b>olpally</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 3:29pm<b>paulhawkes</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 11:15am<b>jackson38</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 12:34pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 4:22pm<b>MysteryManPerson</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 9:33pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 7:36am

toelie's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of toelie's badges

toelie's favorite FMLs

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47842) - you deserved it (9534)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

#20022255
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26656) - you deserved it (2875)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML

#19994389
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7956) - you deserved it (46302)

On 07/31/2012 at 11:53am - love - by TheMissMuffly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

#19878308
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8285) - you deserved it (23324)

On 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by Misky (man) -

Today, I caught my stylist in the mirror attempting to get his colleague to laugh by spitting on my head while washing my hair. FML

#19858220
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29231) - you deserved it (1726) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/27/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by MonCoiffeurAdoré -

Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML

#19644277
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25845) - you deserved it (5913)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered that my acne glows yellow and orange under black lights while in front of a wall of them at a club. FML

#19630499
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21230) - you deserved it (2199)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML

#19611188
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33974) - you deserved it (5225)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by rj - United States (Kansas)

Today, it was my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises inside the door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML

#19604267
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28670) - you deserved it (1822)

On 05/10/2012 at 8:28pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

#19591291
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16375) - you deserved it (29956)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML

#19451298
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24943) - you deserved it (4198)

On 04/11/2012 at 7:05pm - health - by clinictime - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

#19401228
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25890) - you deserved it (5171)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by jackmehoffa (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

#19387576
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21383) - you deserved it (2937)

On 04/01/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML

#19299897
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27056) - you deserved it (2967)

On 03/18/2012 at 11:04am - work - by cachucy - United States (Illinois)

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10134) - you deserved it (31451)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States



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