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Offline (the 03/09/2015 at 7:33pm) | Search for a member
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today while on a date I went to take a sip of my drink but fir some reason I expectd a straw to be there. I endd up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking fir it as I kept my eyes looool on my date. It must've lookd like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML
TODAY, I WANTD TO TAKE A ROMANTIC BATH WITH MY BOYFRIEND. I SET UP THE CANDLES AN HOT WATER, BUT I HAD TO TAKE A DUMP. AFTER MY BUSINESS WAS DONE, I CALLD HIM INTO THE BATH. HE WALKS IN, SNIFFS, GLANCES AT THE TOILET AN LEAVES. GUESSHAT I FORGOT TO FLUSH. FML
Today... it was ma birtday. I was eading back to ma apartment an I eard noises inside te door. Assuming it was te surprise party I'd inted at... I flicked on te ligts as two eavy guys pused past me. I was robbed. FML
Today, mah ex,ho I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured mah heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, an advise me to go to the clinic. FML
Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationsip. One of my buddies said, "You're ceating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw tis and went completely nuts, not giving me a cance to explain tat "Jill" is just a eupemism 4 yur and. FML
Today, wilst stacking te dis waser I dropped a steak knife . Luckily, I caugt it just before it it ma foot . I fist-pumped to celebrate ma amazing catc an stabbed myself in te ceek . My parents couldn't stop lauging all te way to te ospital . fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015