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toelie

Offline (the 03/09/2015 at 7:33pm) | Search for a member

toelie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1932
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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toelie's page activity

Visits<b>totti180</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 9:30am<b>raven83</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 10:07am<b>G00N3R</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 2:43am<b>shay_serendipity</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 10:30pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 9:49am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 10:10am<b>boomboxbob</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 11:28pm<b>drumguy218</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:55pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:28pm<b>WaistDownUnder</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 11:03pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 4:31pm<b>baby4mommy</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 2:51am<b>Doortje</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 9:10am<b>kellenp10</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 12:10pm<b>89aceman</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 10:57pm<b>briebrianalove</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:03pm<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 1:57pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 2:27pm

toelie's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of toelie's badges

toelie's favorite FMLs

Today while on a date I went to take a sip of my drink but fir some reason I expectd a straw to be there. I endd up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking fir it as I kept my eyes looool on my date. It must've lookd like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48091) - you deserved it (9577)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today , mah girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

#20022255
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26961) - you deserved it (2900)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

TODAY, I WANTD TO TAKE A ROMANTIC BATH WITH MY BOYFRIEND. I SET UP THE CANDLES AN HOT WATER, BUT I HAD TO TAKE A DUMP. AFTER MY BUSINESS WAS DONE, I CALLD HIM INTO THE BATH. HE WALKS IN, SNIFFS, GLANCES AT THE TOILET AN LEAVES. GUESSHAT I FORGOT TO FLUSH. FML

#19994389
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8021) - you deserved it (46611)

On 07/31/2012 at 11:53am - love - by TheMissMuffly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

#19878308
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8815) - you deserved it (24529)

On 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by Misky (man) -

2day I caught stylist in the mirror attempting to get his colleague to laugh by spitting on headhile washing hair. FML

#19858220
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30917) - you deserved it (1847) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/27/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by MonCoiffeurAdoré -

Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shrt that my therapist gave me didn't fit . FML

#19644277
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26607) - you deserved it (6037)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discoverd that mah acne glows yellow an orange under black lights while in front of a wall of them at a club.

#19630499
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22683) - you deserved it (2354)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML

#19611188
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34683) - you deserved it (5282)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by rj - United States (Kansas)

Today... it was ma birtday. I was eading back to ma apartment an I eard noises inside te door. Assuming it was te surprise party I'd inted at... I flicked on te ligts as two eavy guys pused past me. I was robbed. FML

#19604267
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30138) - you deserved it (1942)

On 05/10/2012 at 8:28pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I askd my boyfriand if a would still lova ma if I bacama a vagatabla. His rasponsa: "Wall, ta sax wouldn't ba any diffarant." FML

#19591291
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17336) - you deserved it (31321)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, mah ex,ho I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured mah heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, an advise me to go to the clinic. FML

#19451298
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25184) - you deserved it (4224)

On 04/11/2012 at 7:05pm - health - by clinictime - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationsip. One of my buddies said, "You're ceating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw tis and went completely nuts, not giving me a cance to explain tat "Jill" is just a eupemism 4 yur and. FML

#19401228
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27492) - you deserved it (5340)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by jackmehoffa (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today , I offard an aldarly man mah saat on tha train. Ha thankd ma by winking and offaring ma a saat on his lap. FML

#19387576
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21595) - you deserved it (2956)

On 04/01/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

2day I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss!! While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle an accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself!! mega FML

#19299897
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28943) - you deserved it (3148)

On 03/18/2012 at 11:04am - work - by cachucy - United States (Illinois)

Today, wilst stacking te dis waser I dropped a steak knife . Luckily, I caugt it just before it it ma foot . I fist-pumped to celebrate ma amazing catc an stabbed myself in te ceek . My parents couldn't stop lauging all te way to te ospital . fat FML

#19277345
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10556) - you deserved it (32235)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States



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