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tlyr

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  • Number of visits : 2205
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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tlyr's page activity

Visits<b>chrisduffer7</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 7:26pm

tlyr's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tlyr's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

#6001058
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15238) - you deserved it (8950)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I played with the white dust on the counter at work for the last time. After a couple of weeks of arriving to a thin coating of dust over the counter, and drawing in it, piling it up and other such fun things, I met the guy who now does the earlier shift. He has a huge, dandruffy beard. FML

#5946410
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30011) - you deserved it (11609)

On 10/22/2009 at 5:24pm - work - by JustEwww (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML

#5098537
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65509) - you deserved it (5962)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by BoredRunner42 - United States (California)

Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML

#5098537
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65509) - you deserved it (5962)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by BoredRunner42 - United States (California)

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51400) - you deserved it (3184)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21830) - you deserved it (53408)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I moved into university residence, looking forward to finally being able to come out of the closet. I started chatting with the hot guy moving in next door to me. He said I was cool, and he was glad because he was afraid he'd be living next to a gay guy. FML

#3984590
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49413) - you deserved it (9982)

On 07/23/2009 at 6:09pm - love - by simon (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138967) - you deserved it (9964)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

#2202679
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37330) - you deserved it (31865)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

#2137630
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49445) - you deserved it (2296)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by verycre8tive (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

#1927832
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61936) - you deserved it (5794)

On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (232617) - you deserved it (30947)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML

#19635
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32810) - you deserved it (2299)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:58am - misc - by neversayhiagain (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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