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tlyr

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tlyr

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  • Number of visits : 2210
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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tlyr's page activity

Visits<b>chrisduffer7</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 7:26pm

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tlyr's favorite FMLs

Today, I rear-ended a car while I was texting about the accident ahead which was causing all the traffic. FML

#9155456
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5868) - you deserved it (82324)

On 03/17/2010 at 7:51am - misc - by KobraKommander - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of more than two years told me in front of all of our friends that he'd trade me for some Playstation 3 games. I laughed it off because I thought he was kidding. He made it clear that he was serious. FML

#9153191
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32052) - you deserved it (4618)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:05am - love - by Girl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got mugged. They wanted my phone and wallet. The most important thing in my wallet was my fully punched Smoothie King card. FML

#9100714
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22755) - you deserved it (3443)

On 03/15/2010 at 11:05am - money - by ashleeylynn - United States

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20577) - you deserved it (2379)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

#8576368
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26768) - you deserved it (5243)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19361) - you deserved it (4577)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19361) - you deserved it (4577)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

#7637016
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8050) - you deserved it (37113)

On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

#7404915
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36569) - you deserved it (3490)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:32pm - kids - by Michele (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

#7353628
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30127) - you deserved it (3617)

On 01/15/2010 at 3:33am - love - by Romantic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU", it really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML

#6785905
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (10673)

On 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

#6753136
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36665) - you deserved it (2268)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States

Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he cried and pissed his pants. Again. FML

#6350911
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31901) - you deserved it (2442)

On 11/18/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by not_trained_for_this (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got to work in the ER at the local hospital. A lady came in with high blood sugar. She was concerned because the same thing happened to her husband. I reassured her, telling her she'll be back with her husband in an hour or so. Her husband died four years ago from something similar. FML

#6172287
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25386) - you deserved it (6767)

On 11/05/2009 at 7:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)



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