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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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tky405

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tky405
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1452
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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tky405's favorite FMLs

Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML

#15960632 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (12352) - you deserved it (1231)

On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

#14616201 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (19817) - you deserved it (2851) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

#12797931 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (13871) - you deserved it (17596)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778 (261)

I agree, your life sucks (13589) - you deserved it (41180)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (16817) - you deserved it (7203)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for this sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML

#8938594 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (20376) - you deserved it (1542)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:31am - misc - by CreepedOut (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

#8923957 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (12484) - you deserved it (4275)

On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML

#8887792 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (27353) - you deserved it (1494)

On 03/07/2010 at 5:27am - misc - by notamathematician (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

#8878424 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (18528) - you deserved it (2433)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (17156) - you deserved it (4894)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML

#7925151 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (13684) - you deserved it (3381)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:28am - misc - by Karie-Rose (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother and I were driving through Del Taco. Instead of ordering "Macho Diet Coke", she said "Macho Diet Cock". After correcting herself and pulling up to the window, the employee who goes to my high school gave her the drink and his phone number. FML

#7898835 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (16318) - you deserved it (1513)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:52am - misc - by MachoFluster (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in the hospital. I had apparently overworked my heart so much that I fainted. What caused it? I was playing a racing game on my Wii and freaked out when I won first place. FML

#7789192 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (8916) - you deserved it (23890)

On 02/01/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by overexcited (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

#7165792 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (27120) - you deserved it (9315)

On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML

#7164815 (44)

I agree, your life sucks (4637) - you deserved it (19758)

On 01/05/2010 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)