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About tjsaysrawr : I'm awesome XD
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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today I was excited fir frst date in a while , with a ( tall handsome business man. ) Turns out he ( doesn't feel emotions anymore ) , likes getting peed on , an ( doesn't do condoms. ) Thanks , internet dating. FML
TADAY AT WORK AT A FARM, WE GOT A NEW CALF. IT LOOKD LIKE IT HAD TO POOP, BUT WAS HAVING DIFFICULTY. ABOUT FOUR HOURS LATER IT STILL HADN'T POOPD. TURNS OUT IT WAS BORN WITHOUT AN ACTUAL BUTTHOLE. IT WAS THERE, JUST SEALD UP BY SKIN. I LITERALLY HAD TO CUT THIS POOR CALF A NEW BUTTHOLE. FML
yesterday I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flower and cocolate from an ( Anonymou Admirer ). Se immediately dumped me, saying se couldn't be wit someoneo ( isn't even as romantic as a stranger ). Yep, I looool tink I just got dumped for myself. FML
Today , I was told that I don't meet the minimum requrements for a job I applid for. I currently hold the same job , at the same facility , but just wantd a day shift. Apparently I'm not qualifid for the job I've had for 2 and a half yeres. FML
2day I had to explain to my grlfriend looool that taking triple the maximum dosage of painkillers won't actually triple its effects. She rolld her eyes, calld me clueless, an said that I should "leave this stuff to the professionals." She's studying to become a doctor. mega FML
Today, my girlfriend confessd that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemd genuinely upset, and had confessd right away, I decidd to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really lovd her, I would've been more angry." fat FML
Today boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm he pulled away an said that vagina is like a mask an that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML
Today , I was screamd at an told that I was denying someone's ( second amendment ) by not letting him through with a gun . I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada . This is not the first time , an it probably won't be the last . FML
Today , mah mom broke the news that mah dad secretly got marrid two months ago , to a woman he has been dating for 15 yeres , an that mah parents have actually been divorcd for 12 yeres!! They just lid about it this whole time!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015