About tipsypiink : hey creepers- ya, you. stop stalkin my page. kthxbai.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61653) - you deserved it (6442)
On 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Baggabbles123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82096) - you deserved it (4960)
On 06/08/2009 at 6:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said "Eww!". The boy then asks, "What's "ew" mean?". I replied with, "Something gross and yucky". Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (44218) - you deserved it (6273)
On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - kids - by EwFace (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55357) - you deserved it (3762)
On 06/06/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38780) - you deserved it (8793)
On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I put my 3 year old down for her regular nap. About an hour later I wake up from a dream where I was smelling something awful. When I woke up, the smell was still there, so I tracked it down. My daughter had decided to "fingerpaint" with the contents of a dirty diaper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39554) - you deserved it (4222)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:11am - kids - by cgregg01 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65859) - you deserved it (162938)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (109211) - you deserved it (5096)
On 06/02/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by wtf. (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML
I agree, your life sucks (75174) - you deserved it (2656)
On 06/02/2009 at 8:06am - love - by ThanksMom (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37464) - you deserved it (2758)
On 06/02/2009 at 3:55am - misc - by sierraisfucked (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (100371) - you deserved it (4570)
On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58575) - you deserved it (4253)
On 06/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33777) - you deserved it (28092)
On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband of ten years was playing the Sims. I asked him about the house he built. Apparently, it was his dream house, and he recreated himself as a Sim so he could live in it. Then I asked him where the wife was. There was no wife. It was his happy place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42222) - you deserved it (7484)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Poland (Katowice)
Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39232) - you deserved it (4514)
On 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by ailat0107 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 20 May 2013
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