About tipsypiink : hey creepers- ya, you. stop stalkin my page. kthxbai.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59834) - you deserved it (7501)
On 04/17/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by Daniel_rules (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60350) - you deserved it (15492)
On 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm - kids - by ugly (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (129533) - you deserved it (18290)
On 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56912) - you deserved it (2074)
On 04/02/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56912) - you deserved it (2074)
On 04/02/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139820) - you deserved it (24743)
On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16120) - you deserved it (66109)
On 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by blondie (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (471240) - you deserved it (585133)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17297) - you deserved it (50742)
On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45760) - you deserved it (4904)
On 02/24/2009 at 11:33pm - misc - by asdfghjkl_12 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (183028) - you deserved it (61945)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, my Mom came to pay me a short visit at college. She handed me some flowers, which were a Valentine's Day gift, because she "figured I wouldn't be getting any from anyone else this year." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23577) - you deserved it (1698)
On 02/14/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by clementine8 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while I was looking for a file on my boyfriend's hard drive, I came across photos of a half-naked woman wearing my clothes, but whose head wasn't really visible. When I demanded an explanation, I realised that it wasn't another girl - it was him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22738) - you deserved it (1922)
On 12/23/2008 at 11:11pm - love - by Lililaloose - Sent from mobile version
Today, I lost my cell phone. But found it again! And then dropped it in the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36592) - you deserved it (15626)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:30am - money - by enjoy -
Monday 17 June 2013
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