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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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tipsy337

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tipsy337
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2832
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tipsy337's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

#5775465 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (28778) - you deserved it (1498)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by prickly (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

#5760830 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (7513) - you deserved it (40022)

On 10/10/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by loser - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

#5522422 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (54089) - you deserved it (6455)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up at 3 in the morning and realized I forgot a 30 page english essay that was due the next day. Knowing I still had 12 pages to research and write, I bolted. I worked until 12PM and was almost done when my dad came in and unplugged the computer because I "need to go outside more." FML

#5507181 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (41202) - you deserved it (7849)

On 09/27/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by riotrock (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML

#5423695 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (30253) - you deserved it (2840)

On 09/23/2009 at 4:14am - love - by garrett (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

#4994494 (45)

I agree, your life sucks (18968) - you deserved it (2465)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML

#4572543 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (44833) - you deserved it (5881)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, as a joke, my friends and I decided to put me in a dress and makeup, to creep out a friend. I'm a guy. I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that I so willingly volunteered to wear the dress and the makeup, or the fact that I thought it was comfy and made me look slim. FML

#4402387 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (8567) - you deserved it (36967)

On 08/09/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by twitch01 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

#4384243 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (39777) - you deserved it (3951)

On 08/08/2009 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by pear8head (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

#4299619 (301)

I agree, your life sucks (33482) - you deserved it (56074)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided that I was going to quit my job. I wrote my letter of resignation and sent it to my boss. 3 minutes later, I get an email announcing that the company will be closing their doors and for making this announcement on such short notice, all employees get a 6 year leave. FML

#4279807 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (42777) - you deserved it (6579)

On 08/04/2009 at 11:29am - work - by Jobless (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

#4275637 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (34483) - you deserved it (13778)

On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my enraged girlfriend told me she was fired from her nurse job for no reason. I called her employer to find out why. He told me that she was caught "helping out" a male patient, and that supposedly she has done the same with just about every good looking guy that comes into the hospital. FML

#4257734 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (48199) - you deserved it (2258)

On 08/03/2009 at 3:25pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (52651) - you deserved it (3716)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#4155124 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (17495) - you deserved it (39959)

On 07/30/2009 at 5:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew