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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32606) - you deserved it (3740)
On 04/01/2013 at 7:57am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyyoufreaks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30145) - you deserved it (6077) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I got talking to a pretty girl on the subway. Just as she was about to get off, I handed her my phone so that she could give me her number. She ran out with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12502) - you deserved it (31973) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/26/2013 at 12:02am - love - by crétin-crédule - France (Limousin)
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25840) - you deserved it (10099) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/18/2013 at 6:39am - animals - by dormeur - Sent from mobile version
Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7510) - you deserved it (28092)
On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22757) - you deserved it (1616)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:22am - love - by prettylady? - United States
Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16911) - you deserved it (1085)
On 10/19/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by NoorFML - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I'm going to be helping the love of my life pick out an engagement ring for my cousin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21216) - you deserved it (2373)
On 10/08/2012 at 12:39pm - love - by unlucky - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend of a month has a new girlfriend. That girl is my cousin, the same one who's been listening to my tears fall as I've confided my feelings to her for the past few weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20179) - you deserved it (1445)
On 09/27/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)
Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35342) - you deserved it (19726)
On 07/06/2009 at 12:54pm - love - by spitballer1 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54351) - you deserved it (4817)
On 06/10/2009 at 9:12am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (547673) - you deserved it (35286)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42491) - you deserved it (484369)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (986801) - you deserved it (78467)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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