About timtamslam : .
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15981) - you deserved it (8165)
On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6274) - you deserved it (16449)
On 03/10/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by RyanM (man) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14947) - you deserved it (1794)
On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13079) - you deserved it (3615)
On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23670) - you deserved it (1708)
On 02/05/2010 at 2:01pm - intimacy - by michelle - Sent from mobile version
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26740) - you deserved it (4407)
On 01/23/2010 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6979) - you deserved it (18545)
On 01/12/2010 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by loveade11 - Sent from mobile version
Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6174) - you deserved it (13499)
On 01/12/2010 at 2:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was sparring with a guy in my Tae Kwon Do class. He had a hard-on the entire time we were sparring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21237) - you deserved it (2703)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:30am - misc - by snickerdoodles - Sent from mobile version
Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20688) - you deserved it (2127)
On 01/01/2010 at 8:03am - animals - by grosssss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29927) - you deserved it (2510)
On 12/29/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by sickofsick - United States
Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6394) - you deserved it (22103)
On 12/28/2009 at 5:16am - intimacy - by Dontworryaboutit (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20551) - you deserved it (5202)
On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13556) - you deserved it (1822)
On 12/05/2009 at 4:07am - intimacy - by lastalittlelonger (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30691) - you deserved it (2184)
On 11/24/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by bmonehh (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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