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timtamslam

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timtamslam
  • Town/Country : Tasmania, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1108
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About timtamslam : .

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timtamslam's favorite FMLs

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31805) - you deserved it (7250)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML

#17139363
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23380) - you deserved it (12979)

On 07/16/2011 at 6:52pm - health - by adamclmns (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117223) - you deserved it (5934)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML

#16954245
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39931) - you deserved it (3425)

On 07/02/2011 at 10:15pm - love - by lostbandana - United States

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12520) - you deserved it (45860)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my fridge. FML

#16628583
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46884) - you deserved it (10771)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by gerligrl97 - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend a long and heartfelt message. He responded with "tl; dr". FML

#16540181
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23130) - you deserved it (5647)

On 06/07/2011 at 12:43am - love - by Maddie110110 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

#15714709
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18794) - you deserved it (32156)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:58pm - animals - by Sid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14616) - you deserved it (45272)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my cell phone there and had got a text from a guy saying "Hi, how have you been?" FML

#15301527
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49561) - you deserved it (7925)

On 03/14/2011 at 12:07am - love - by wtf -

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35995) - you deserved it (22610)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML

#15000344
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21601) - you deserved it (33612)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:56am - misc - by rhartnett11 -

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65559) - you deserved it (6031)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17543) - you deserved it (62212)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, I realised that my husband's vows were actually the love speech from 'When Harry Met Sally'. This was made even more humiliating when I discovered that he hadn't even come up with the idea himself, he had seen it in an episode of Scrubs. FML

#14696997
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29647) - you deserved it (4371)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:50am - love - by tina247 -



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