About timtamslam : .
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105355) - you deserved it (5808)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34798) - you deserved it (2648)
On 07/02/2011 at 10:15pm - love - by lostbandana - United States
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10632) - you deserved it (35857)
On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)
Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my fridge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43973) - you deserved it (10077)
On 06/12/2011 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by gerligrl97 - United States
Today, I sent my boyfriend a long and heartfelt message. He responded with "tl; dr". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21194) - you deserved it (4651)
On 06/07/2011 at 12:43am - love - by Maddie110110 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18516) - you deserved it (31536)
On 04/09/2011 at 8:58pm - animals - by Sid (man) - United States (California)
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12619) - you deserved it (36119)
On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my cell phone there and had got a text from a guy saying "Hi, how have you been?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (47135) - you deserved it (7651)
On 03/14/2011 at 12:07am - love - by wtf -
Today, every fire alarm in my house went off. At 3AM. I ripped them all out of the ceiling. We have 49 because the previous owners were scared of fire. They are still going off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24707) - you deserved it (2954)
On 03/11/2011 at 2:00am - misc - by dancer7718 -
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32607) - you deserved it (20961)
On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19561) - you deserved it (27490)
On 02/16/2011 at 7:56am - misc - by rhartnett11 -
Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58727) - you deserved it (4910)
On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15580) - you deserved it (51448)
On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -
Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25960) - you deserved it (2793)
On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boss texted me to say the office was closed because of the snow. I begged him to let me go in anyway because I had nothing to do all day. I have no life, friends or hobbies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18396) - you deserved it (8276)
On 12/07/2010 at 9:13am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Monday 20 May 2013
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