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timtamslam

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timtamslam
  • Town/Country : Tasmania, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 422
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About timtamslam : .

timtamslam's last visitors

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timtamslam's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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timtamslam's favorite FMLs

Today, my separation anxiety got so intense, I found myself smelling my boyfriend's pillow. FML

#18566755
147 comments

Today, a Karate dojo opened under my apartment. It's like living in a Bruce Lee movie. FML

#18516583
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17838) - you deserved it (2023)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by rattlingfloorboards (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35608) - you deserved it (2799) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

#18086269
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6284) - you deserved it (126787)

On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54726) - you deserved it (2328)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML

#17880889
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8420) - you deserved it (24431)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

#17787359
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30509) - you deserved it (2071)

On 09/20/2011 at 10:56am - work - by PC Jones (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

#17741306
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25508) - you deserved it (2093)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:12am - love - by ppp - United States

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6144) - you deserved it (44180)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

#17613922
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22386) - you deserved it (6489)

On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)

Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML

#17538600
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22357) - you deserved it (4149)

On 08/21/2011 at 2:23pm - animals - by xXangelaXx - United States

Today, I woke up with a foul stench forcing its way up my nostrils. It turns out our septic tank broke, and is now leaking into our backyard, and sadly, our basement. I live in the basement. FML

#17460789
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20792) - you deserved it (1637)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:04pm - misc - by thatguythere858 (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

#17384157
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23394) - you deserved it (2442)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28675) - you deserved it (5802)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML

#17139363
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21580) - you deserved it (10546)

On 07/16/2011 at 6:52pm - health - by adamclmns (man) - United States (Arkansas)



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