About timtamslam : .
It’s in the can
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5792) - you deserved it (75903)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)
Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15941) - you deserved it (1480)
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14696) - you deserved it (26592)
On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19523) - you deserved it (1196)
On 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by anonymus - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27094) - you deserved it (4932)
On 05/14/2012 at 6:31am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8438) - you deserved it (21825)
On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States
Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (3390)
On 03/23/2012 at 11:34am - kids - by Confused (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (131) - you deserved it (2727)
On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom
Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13953) - you deserved it (20572)
On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36677) - you deserved it (3436)
Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17890) - you deserved it (1911)
On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got a parking ticket for parking in my neighbors' parking spot. I parked there because my neighbors were parked in my parking spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22929) - you deserved it (1471)
On 02/02/2012 at 5:28am - money - by carssuck - United States
Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house to myself. Wild parties? Hot girls? Loads of beer? No. Flu. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23894) - you deserved it (5386)
On 01/18/2012 at 10:29am - health - by partypooper (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29518) - you deserved it (1998)
On 01/13/2012 at 1:57pm - animals - by Jeslyn03 - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24169) - you deserved it (2258)
On 12/23/2011 at 2:42am - intimacy - by balkangirl94 - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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