Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

timtamslam

Search for a member

timtamslam

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1363
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About timtamslam : .

timtamslam's page activity

Visits<b>jalenlounis</b> - yesterday at 10:58pm<b>wildsweetchild</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:20am<b>kelsorg</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:40am<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 12:05am<b>windell</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 11:37pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 3:33am<b>BrittanyHen</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 12:39pm<b>Smorg_z16</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 10:35pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 7:19pm<b>Blue_Black</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 12:56am<b>rob02</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 1:58am<b>mLove395</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 4:52pm<b>Catkam623</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 12:27pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 7:33pm<b>DeathEchoo</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 11:54am<b>thomas5915</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 8:18pm<b>ohhhhhhhhhyeah</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 1:33am<b>jfb420</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 3:55pm

timtamslam's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of timtamslam's badges

timtamslam's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML

#20632198
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52851) - you deserved it (4994)

On 04/30/2013 at 3:54am - money - by ShowerGirl (woman) - United States

Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML

#20630309
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56462) - you deserved it (5225)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he says I need to learn how to be happy without relying on him. I'm not a clinger, I'm just unhappy because my dad recently passed away, my best friend turned on me, and I lost out on the exchange program of my dreams. FML

#20625067
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55039) - you deserved it (3626)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML

#20613766
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20105) - you deserved it (69251)

On 04/22/2013 at 6:31pm - love - by Out from Hell (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32639) - you deserved it (111340)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, after a few weeks of my friends pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend, I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes, peanut butter, and it appears that my boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML

#20612533
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67323) - you deserved it (4756)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:58am - love - by Stupid (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was rear ended at McDonald's by the same driver who rear ended me at the same McDonald's last week. FML

#20607123
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53799) - you deserved it (7646)

On 04/20/2013 at 9:43am - misc - by dentedmercedes - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

#20580301
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29491) - you deserved it (4875)

On 04/08/2013 at 4:30am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, it is my birthday. Since my parents are in the middle of a divorce, my mom thought it was perfectly reasonable to burn the gifts my dad got for me in the fireplace. FML

#20578709
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51138) - you deserved it (2527)

On 04/07/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by child of a crazed women (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

#20578428
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44196) - you deserved it (4876)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:26am - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

#20577218
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39629) - you deserved it (19390)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, as a learner driver, I embarked on my longest drive ever: back home, from Sydney to Melbourne, which is around a 700km drive. I managed to get the whole way without any problems. I crashed into my driveway. FML

#20577137
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37401) - you deserved it (6804)

On 04/06/2013 at 4:51am - health - by aaaaahhhh (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

#20572868
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42977) - you deserved it (5198)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22192) - you deserved it (65482)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: