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timtamslam's favorite FMLs
Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML
by ShowerGirl / 04/30/2013 at 3:54am / United States / Money
by Good Luck Chuck / 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he says I need to learn how to be happy without relying on him. I'm not a clinger, I'm just unhappy because my dad recently passed away, my best friend turned on me, and I lost out on the exchange program of my dreams. FML
by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 12:35pm / Denmark / Love
by Out from Hell / 04/22/2013 at 6:31pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, after a few weeks of my friends pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend, I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes, peanut butter, and it appears that my boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML
by Stupid / 04/22/2013 at 2:58am / United States (Idaho) / Love
by dentedmercedes / 04/20/2013 at 9:43am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
by OPhere / 04/15/2013 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
by child of a crazed women / 04/07/2013 at 5:19am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML
by unknown / 04/07/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
by Evalynne / 04/06/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, as a learner driver, I embarked on my longest drive ever: back home, from Sydney to Melbourne, which is around a 700km drive. I managed to get the whole way without any problems. I crashed into my driveway. FML
by aaaaahhhh / 04/06/2013 at 4:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 5:17am / United States / Kids
by SayCheese / 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…